Just One Joey: self awareness

Showing posts with label self awareness. Show all posts

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Be A F***ing Weirdo

“Tetris taught me that trying to fit in will make you disappear.” — A Smart Person

I am weird.

That is not something I have ever admitted to anyone.

I don’t fit in.

I never have.

But I tried.

I’m glad I wasn’t able to.

Now I don’t have to worry about disappearing. I can embrace what makes me unique, be comfortable in my own skin, and just be a happy fucking weirdo.

Finally!

The Roller Coaster Ride

Man, I have been all over the place.

I’ve been loud, quiet, funny, a drunk, a rock star, an introvert, and extrovert, a loser, and a party animal.

I tried all the hats on, have done everything, and in the end, I just needed to be me.

Who Is Me?

A nerd. A boring, homebody. A dad that works every day of the week, who loves his job, and loves spending time with his family. Everything is scheduled. Everything has a place. Everything has a purpose. It is family TV night on Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. I get up at 5am every day of the week. I have the same routine every single morning: water, meditate, journal, coffee, read, poop, run.

Then I work. I write, film, create, build, win, lose, learn, and repeat. All day. Every day.

I am boring.

In fact, I am the most boring person I know, and I am totally cool with it.

I don’t like going out. I am usually falling asleep on the couch at 830pm.

I have friends that I would do absolutely anything for, that I talk to once a month, if that, and see a couple times a year. Why? Because I don’t like hanging out. It feels unproductive to me. I get restless. I need action. I need productivity.

Instead of fighting it because it is something I am “supposed” to do, I just don’t.

Fuck it. I will just be me thank you very much.

I have two drinks a night, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and that’s it. Usually Guinness, or the discontinued Firestone Wookey Jack (R.I.P.) or a nice Cab (Ste. Michelle — WA).

That’s it.

See? I told you I was boring.

Be You. Be Happy.

Who are you?

Do you even know?

Not who you think you should be. Not who you think others think you should be.

You.

What do you hide?

What do you like that others don’t?

What makes you different?

Just for the record, I don’t really want to know if it’s some weird ass shit. This isn’t a sexual thing we are talking about. I mean, like, “A Bad Case of The Stripes” kind of weird. You know, lima beans.

Don’t go overboard my friend.

There are so many things that are not “The Norm.” Everyone should be x,y,z. The heroes have as much of a checklist as the antiheroes. If you a cool, there is a checklist. If you are a geek, there is a checklist. What if you are cool in some areas and a nerd in others? We’ve all seen Rudolf, right?

What if you are trapped in an elf’s outfit and you are really a dentist?

You have to be you.

Your happiness depends on it.

Brian Koppelman has a beautiful theory that when you suppress who you really are it turns in to a cancer. If you ignore who you are you (subconsciously or not) get mad at yourself and it starts manifesting itself in horrible ways. Anger, sadness, acting out, doing crazy things, all pulling yourself even further away from yourself.

What are you suppressing?

And why?

Are you giving people too much power? Or are you not giving yourself enough?

Find some heroes. Find people that are different and embraced it.

I wrote the blog for a Chase Jarvis series called 30 Days Of Genius. If you are looking to chart your own path, there are some amazing people he interviewed that would be a perfect starting point. Or just look people up. People like: Caterina Fake, Austin Kleon, Neil Strauss, James Altucher, Stephan Sagmeister, Ramit Sethi, and Brian Solis.

There are people out there that did it their own way, on their own path.

Connect with these people. If you take someone else’s path, you are only walking away from yourself.

There are weirdos out there, just like you, just like me. They embrace what makes them different.

They understand that fitting in is blending in is disappearing.

Do you want to disappear?

Be someone else?

Or would you rather be a beautiful, wonderful, happy, fucking weirdo?

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

30 Days Of Genius Blog: Caterina Fake

If you are looking for motivation for following your dreams, or finding your path, Caterina Fake may be the last place you will ever need to look. What did following her path accomplish? Oh, I don’t know, how does founding Flickr, running Etsy, and being named one of Time Magazines 100 most influential people on the planet sound? Exactly. Wow is right.

I have taken her interview on 30 Days of Genius with Chase Jarvis, extracted the information, and used it to answer common questions by readers just like you, who are looking to take their lives to the next level, or at least a different level than the one there are on.

Please enjoy.

How Can I Step Out And Be Bold?

It takes conviction of what you are, who you are, what you care about, and what you are going to pursue.

It’s about being ignored for months or years and still pushing.

It’s about knowing who you are, what you want, and not caring about external rewards.

If you can handle all of those things, then you are ready to go for it. These are the markers of passion.

If you have passion, then you will be willing to work hard, teach yourself, learn on your own, and adjust. Why? Because passion is a powerful force to have behind what you do.

When I was first starting out, I offered to work for free just for information. 3 days a week for 2 months. What was my pay? I was able to attend all meetings and spend one hour a week asking questions of my boss. That’s it, and it was totally worth it. If I was not passionate about what I was doing, there is no way I would put in that kind of work.

Would you be willing to do that for your passion?

If yes, then go for it.

If no, then it is probably not your passion.

Is Your Passion Obvious?

If you are able to listen to your inner voice. If you can reflect over your life, remember your childhood and what you wanted to be when you were older, then yes it is. People are the same throughout their lives. Just because you stopped believing in your dreams doesn’t mean they disappeared, it just means you buried them under the responsibilities you took on as you got older.

Reconnect with your inner voice, your childhood.

Give it room.

It not only deserves it, it needs it.

What If I Don’t Have Time?

There are things you need to do, responsibilities you have to take care of, but then there are other things that you can eliminate in order to make time for your passion. Maybe it’s an hour a week at first, maybe its 30 minutes a day, but you have to start somewhere. Once it has space it will grow. How do I know? Because it’s your passion. It is a seed you have been carrying around that just needs a little water to start growing.

Create small, easily managed goals. Write one page a day. Paint 30 minutes a day. Squeeze it in. It doesn’t have to be a huge commitment, but it needs to be committed to. You need to put yourself and your day in a position to be creative. That could look like many different things depending on what your life is like. Some advice that I have received in the past was to move away from big cities. That may be counter-intuitive, but the less expensive it is to live, the more time you can afford to your creativity.

Clean up your time. Don’t check email all day. Productivity is easier without distractions, so you have to remove them. Have specific times during the day that you allocate to emails and phone surfing, and then have specific time for your creativity. Don’t mix the two. Give them their respective times.

Everyone has their own path. It is about finding what works well for you. There is no formula. People tend to focus on what they like, what they are drawn to, and their inner voice. Be sensitive to each of those things. Take advantage of what you are feeling, and always be moving forward.

Don’t Get Lost

The paths to success are clear. Starting as young as elementary school, the rewards are given to those that follow the rules. Conformity is the name of the game. The drive for success kills people. Just because there are paths laid out for you doesn’t mean that they can’t lead you astray.

Stop chasing prizes.

Chase what makes you happy.

And don’t worry, no matter where you are in life, you can always turn around.

Start where you are, with what you’ve got, and the time that you have.

Quotes

No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road turn back.

Stop chasing prizes

Start where you are, with what you’ve got, and the time that you have.

Caterina Fake Links

Website

The Creative Hours (blog)

Findery

Chase Jarvis Links

Joey Links

Friday, February 10, 2017

30 Days Of Genius Blog: Elle Luna

Living your own life, following a path you’re not sure where it leads, and making your dreams a reality (literally). This is Elle Luna. No matter where you are in life, she has exactly what you need to hear.

Please enjoy.

I Don’t Know What To Do

Then you are at a crossroads, and that is a beautiful place to be. You have the chance to possibly make the biggest decision of your life, so you must choose wisely. I know that sounds like a lot of pressure, and it is, but I have a way of navigating through all of the uncertainty. You need to take all of your options, all of your choices, and put them in to one of two categories, either should or must.

Should. These are all of the expectations that others put on us. Your friends, parents, community, and possibly even the culture as a whole. When you choose a “should” it feels awful. It’s heavy, it’s constricting, and it haunts us. Yet we choose it anyways. We are choosing our lives for someone or something else.

Must. These decisions are who we are, what we believe, and what we know is true. They are our convictions, knowings, longings, and dreams. By choosing a must, we are honoring who we are and why we are here.

It sounds easy, but it isn’t. Even if you choose must, you have to deal with should. You have to understand the difference between the two, where they come from, and why they are pulling you in. If you don’t deal with should, it will stick around. By bringing awareness to it you are catapulting in to must. If you know where all of the conscious and subconscious “shoulds” come from, you can gain an understanding of them and avoid them. Just like any problem, if it is not dealt with it will linger.

If you have not heard of it, The Alexander Technique is basically: when we stop doing the wrong thing, the right thing does itself. The more you stop doing “should,” “must” has no other option but to happen.

Don’t be afraid of where you are right now. Discontent is a wonderful catalyst for change. You are most guaranteed to get light when you are most in the darkness. I learned to lean in to my problems. If you are falling, dive. Find out how to take your situation and flip it on its head. You have to step in to your shame, anger and fear, because the other side is freedom. There is no way around it, only through it. The sooner you accept that the sooner you will get past it and on to something bigger and better.

Can You Really Make Your Dreams A Reality?

Absolutely.

I did. Literally.

I had a recurring dream of a space, and I found it, ironically on Craigslist. How crazy is that?

That never would have happened if I didn’t listen, and pay attention to myself.

We are living in a time where we are addicted to being busy. With all of the running around, when do we listen? When do we hear what our mind and body are saying to us?

I was listening, but it actually took a friend asking me, “Have you ever thought about looking for this dream in real life?” for me to act on it. That one question changed everything.

From that point I went out and literally made my dream a reality. I found the space I was looking for, then I freaked out. Now that I had everything I was dreaming of, I had to create. It wasn’t the end of my dream, it was just the beginning. It sounds a little strange, but it is difficult when you are in the midst of everything you have asked for, and you are just sitting there.

It was time to work.

In the same way you need to know yourself, to distinguish between should and must, to know your dreams, you have to know how you work. What is going to allow you to continue living your dreams?

I focus on structure, accountability, and intuition.

I love the saying, when we have more fun we get more done. Part of having fun for me is feeling good. That means eating well, meditating, moving my body, going to sleep early, and having accountability. It feels good to HAVE to do something because someone I care about is depending on me to get it done. That is the beautiful part about doing what you love, you will be busier than you have ever been in your life and you won’t feel it. It isn’t really work. You want to do it better and better so you fine tune how you work constantly. I have myself on timers, I study signs of boredom, and I know how to center myself to stay in this positive and creative space. When I feel far away, when I am not having vivid dreams, I know I need solitude, to be able to come back to myself. The empty space invites everything in. That time and space allows me to come back to love, joy and happiness.

“The more we treat ourselves like a precious object, the stronger we become.” — Julia Cameron

“Follow your bliss, and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t even know they were going to be.” — Joseph Campbell

Quotes

Discontent is the most amazing catalyst for something new.

When you are falling, dive.

You are most guaranteed to get light when you are most in the darkness.

“The more we treat ourselves like a precious object, the stronger we become.” — Julia Cameron

“The cracks let the light in.” — Leonard Cohen

“You can have jobs, you can have careers, and you can have callings.” — Stefan Sagmeister

Elle Luna Links

Website

The Crossroads Of Should And Must

Chase Jarvis Links

Joey Links

Friday, February 3, 2017

30 Days Of Genius Blog: Gretchen Rubin

Our greatness is predicated on many things, but getting out of your own way may be the biggest. Gretchen Rubin offers insights and exercises to help you do just that, and create a life for yourself that is meaningful, exciting, and made just for you. An expert in happiness and habits, she will give everyone who reads this something to take with them to improve themselves. She is incredible.

Please enjoy.

How Can I Be The Best Version Of Me?

I know what you want to hear, “just do what feels natural,” or “go with the flow,” and “let loose.”

Those sound great, but those will most likely cause you to drift. That may be good or bad, but I would bet that it ends up bad more than good.

So, what the heck is drifting?

Exactly what it sounds like, you drift. The path of least resistance. Swept away with the tide. You don’t want to ask yourself hard questions, or you don’t want to risk conflict with someone you care about. Drifting means you are not making choices. You really are just going with the flow. When you do that, you are taking the chance that you end up somewhere you do not want to be.

This can come in the form of school, majors, minors, dating, marriage, minor purchases, major purchases, etc.

You need to ask yourself, why are you doing it?

You HAVE to know yourself. You HAVE to constantly ask questions, figure out how you are different from other people. What do YOU want? What makes YOU happy? Not what someone else wants, not what you THINK someone else wants. You, you, you.

Where Do I Start?

I think these three questions will get you on the right track.

1. Whom do you envy? When you make your list, realize that envy is wanting something someone else has. What do they have that you want?

2. What do you try to hide? If you are hiding something, then your life is not reflecting your values, or the values of those around you. It could be a good or bad, but things are not lining up. You need to figure out why.

3. Are you a marathoner or a sprinter? This is exactly what it sounds like. Do you function better with slow and steady, or are you better with adrenaline and deadlines? This question will allow you to set up your work/creative life to fit YOU, not those around you, not what you think you should be. It’s all about you.

After that, you can start digging deeper in to yourself. Asking yourself questions like: when have I succeeded in the past? When do I feel my best? Then you can distinguish your strengths and weaknesses and harness both. Build up your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses. This will allow you to make better choices, and put yourself in a position to win.

People are in denial. They don’t look at who they are. They don’t look at why they are doing things.

They just drift.

How Do I Keep From Drifting?

Habits.

Not someone else’s habits, your own habits. As in, you have goals, what things can you do every day that will help you reach those goals? Actually, let’s use milestones instead. Goals are great for reaching goals, but not so good for creating habits. Want to lose 20 lbs? Great. What happens once you have lost the 20 lbs? Exactly.

How do you get habits? Well, work. There is no magic list. Everyone is different. Can you try someone else’s to get started? Of course, but remember to ask yourself the tough questions. Is this me? Does this work for me? When you create your habits you need to know what is true about you and what kind of a person you are. You can’t prescribe a solution until you know who you are. When do you do your best work? What attracts you? When have you been successful in the past? It is about setting yourself up for action, not reaction. Success and productivity shouldn’t be hit and miss. It should at least be a lot more hit than miss.

No matter what your goals are, you need to remember that there is nothing keeping you from doing what you want. There are eyes and ears everywhere. You can build an audience anywhere. You can figure out what you want to do and how you want to do it with very low stakes investments.

Find your perfect day, then figure out how to have that day every day, and you will have habits that allow you to live the life you say you want. Habits are freeing and energizing because they make the decisions for you. You are free. Your days are frictionless.

As you get going, start looking for your loopholes. What keeps you from accomplishing your habits?

Once you figure those out, you avoid them so they don’t sabotage your habits. Before you know it you will be a machine!

Knowing yourself is the key to everything: your interests, values, tastes, temperament. You can expand but you can’t move the center of yourself. “People do best what comes naturally” — JFK.

Your best work should come form that central place.

What is your center?

What do you do in your spare time?

When are you at your best?

When are you at your worst?

When are you happiest?

When are you sad?

What are your goals? Your milestones?

Answer those, then focus on the next step, not the last. Take it a day at a time, piece by piece.

Quotes

Goals are a good way to reach a goal, not a way to create a habit.

“People do best what comes naturally” — JFK

Knowing yourself is the key to everything.

Gretchen Rubin Links

Chase Jarvis Links

Joey Links

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

30 Days Of Genius Blog: Tina Roth Eisenberg

Looking for the epitome of a creative entrepreneur? Look no further than Tina Roth Eisenberg. She is an artist herself, she brings artists together, and she creates businesses and apps to help other artists. She is an inspirational woman, surrounding herself with inspirational people, and she shares some of her brilliant insights here.

Please enjoy.

How Do I Become A Professional Creative?

Be self-sufficient. I think that is very important for a professional creative. If you are waiting around for someone to tell you what to do or how to do it, you will be waiting around a lot. For myself, and the people I work with, you need to be self-sufficient. That self-sufficiency comes from a hunger to create, explore, and try new things. Without that, I feel like you will only have a creative hobby.

I work with people with drive, because in the end, that is what is going to allow you to sustain a career. The desire to do good work, that can work well with others, are the people that will make it.

Don’t know if you are a self-starter? A self-motivator? What are your side projects? Self-starters have many interests and side projects. It shows initiative and hustle, two vital things in the creative world. Combine that with humility, and excitement around your craft, and you have a great formula.

Is There A Right Way To Develop A Side Project?

Yes! Don’t look at it as something that needs to develop. Remember, this is your passion. If you look at it as a business right away you will be less willing to experiment, have a greater fear of failure, and will make decisions based on money instead of love. Your decisions should be based around what you want to do, what you want to fix, and what you want to solve. When it comes from an authentic place, it provides a different energy to those that come in contact with it.

That being said, if your side project involves other people, set up a general foundation. For example, if your project involves four people, decide on how to split potential profits. ¼ for each? 20% in to the pot and divide the remaining 80%? Things like that will save headaches down the road, and potentially even relationships.

How Do I Know If It’s The Right Thing To Work On? That I Truly Love It?

That’s easy, you never have to ask yourself that question. If you love something you never have to question if you truly love it.

You need to know what works for you and recognize what you are good at. Once you focus on what you are good at, and love, you will start to develop super-powers around it, and people will react to it differently. There is something about passion and love that changes the way art looks and feels.

An important thing to remember is your passion and love need protection and nourishment. If you are inspired, if you are curious, surround yourself with curious and inspired people. Work with people that are passionate and excited about what they do. You will feed off each other and the product or art will reap the benefits. Enthusiasm is infectious.

Quotes

Enthusiasm is infectious. Confidence is impressive.

Curious people are inspired people.

I want to make something I love for people that love it.

Tina Roth Eisenberg Links

Chase Jarvis Links

Joey Links

Monday, December 19, 2016

The Christmas Test

For those of you that do not celebrate Christmas, just replace “Christmas” with “Birthday”, and you will get the same effect.

With the holiday season in full swing, I think this is the perfect time to share my theory.

Test Origins

This actually started as The Birthday Test in 2004, not coincidentally, on my birthday. As I thought about it more, I realized it was really a two part test, Birthday & Christmas.

My epiphany that birthday?

“This birthday sucks!“

That’s it.

Tada!!

Keep it simple.

Just for the record, it wasn’t in a spoiled brat kind of a way. Even when I look back on it now, 12 years later, it really was a bad birthday, mostly because I was in a bad place. I was single after being in a relationship for 4 years with a wonderful girl who just wasn’t right for me. I had just started my first career at the cost of smothering my passion, I was in a tug-of-war between myself and what I thought myself should be, and to avoid dealing with it all I was burying it in partying.

It was not who I was. It was not who I wanted to be.

Something had to change.

(this is a whole other essay in itself, but my changes were extreme, and stupid. Why? Because I wasn’t really dealing with what I was feeling or going through, so I just covered it up with what made sense, another relationship and doubling down on my career. #dummy).

You

Have you ever had a s*** birthday?

Have you ever had a s*** Christmas (or whatever you celebrate)?

**On a side note these tests will work with anyone except Jehovah’s Witnesses. You guys don’t celebrate anything, so, I don’t know what to say. Sorry for not having a test for you?

Anyways,

If you have ever had a s** birthday or Christmas, you have already taken the test, but you didn’t know it.

The Test

Christmas and birthdays are inherently happy occasions. Singing, lights, presents, candles, etc. They are fun, colorful, celebratory, great days. At least they should be.

So if you find yourself having a bad one, consider it a test.

There is only one question: What the hell is going on?

J/K, kind of.

The question is, how do I change so this doesn’t happen again next year?

Notice I didn’t say, “How does he change? or she change?” It is, how do I change?

This all starts and ends with you. As soon as you place the blame for your unhappiness on anyone else, you lose. This is all you baby! Own it!

Your life not being right will never be more apparent than on a special day like Christmas or your birthday.

Those days should bring a smile to your face, and happiness to your heart. If they don’t, it is time to make a change.

Audit Your Life

As hard as it is to be down on one of these special days, you will need to dig deeper. What is bringing you down? How have you let it get to this point? What can you do about it?

If it is just a general depression because you don’t like getting older, get over it. We all get older. Take really good care of yourself so you aren’t falling apart in your 40s. There are easier ways to get older, you just need to choose wisely.

So, what is the problem?

Relationships? Money? Weight? Health?

What is it?

How did you get here? What stories have you been telling yourself? How have you been justifying it?

This test is a slap in the face.

It will get your attention.

But you MUST deal with it appropriately.

What does that mean? You need to DEAL with it.

I have a good friend that just broke up with her boyfriend. What does she want to do to feel better?

Get a damn cat.

I am cool with pets (I’m more of a dog person myself), but filling a void when the “void” is fresh is the LAST thing you should do. You need to deal with what you are, well, dealing with. Feel the feelings, sift through your thoughts, and deal with it.

Filling a void is never filling the void, it is just covering the hole.

You may not see it, but it’s there. Others may not see it, but it’s there. You need to get down in there, clean it out, and start rebuilding. In medicine it’s called debriding. When you have a deep wound (and that’s what this test exposes), you need to basically cut to heal. Dig out all the rotten flesh, the bacteria, the stuff that will keep you from healing 100% and flush it all out. Once it is gone, the wound will heal good as new, maybe even better.

Isn’t that what you want?

Don’t you want to take the feelings you are having right now and remove them forever?

Not cover, but recover?

This bad Christmas of yours is a gift.

It may look like a box of s***, but it’s The Christmas Test.

Not the thing you asked for but the thing you need.

Isn’t that how it always works out?

You don’t get what you want, you get what you need.

Well you have what you need.

Take the test.

Ace it.

And have a Happy Holiday.

To all of you who find yourselves searching this holiday season and New Year’s, keep going. Everything you need is out there. You find it with hard work and honesty with yourself. I am here if you have any questions, and there are authors/podcasters out there that can help you: Tim Ferriss, James Altucher, Tony Robbins, Jordan Harbinger, Brian Koppelman, Gary Vaynerchuk, Lewis Howes, and many more.

Keep pushing, keep look, keep asking questions, and keep being honest. It will all work out.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Mental Health

Everyone has something.

Whether it is big or small, it is all overwhelming to the person dealing with it.

Alcoholism, depression, ADHD, addiction, schizophrenia, etc.

They are all cognitive disorders that may show signs as we grow up, but we generally don’t get the full effect until we are old enough that we should have known better. At least that’s how it was for me.

Once you realize you have what you have, admit it, or give up, you need to deal with it. “Knowing is only half the battle” — G.I. Joe (no relation to me). What is knowledge without action? I’m not sure, but it’s not good, especially when you are dealing with something as serious as a cognitive disorder. None of them can be taken likely. If you are not actively doing something about it, you are taking it WAY too lightly.

I have ADHD.

The hyper kid in class?

Yes, that was me.

I was the one in the corner all through elementary school because I could not stop talking to whomever was near me. Didn’t matter who, I was going to talk to you, whether you liked it or not. At least I was funny. You may be irritated with me, but I would keep you entertained.

Thank God I wasn’t born 10 years later, or I would have been on Ritalin, or some other shitty drug.

One that allows you to behave in class but not exactly thrive.

I am not sure about the other disorders, but ADHD is awesome if you can reign it in. There are a ton of perks to having an over-active, hyper creative brain. As long as you are not using it for stupid stuff.

Or not using it, which then leads to stupid stuff.

If I was born ten years later, I would have known I had ADHD much sooner, but I may have missed out on the benefits of controlling it naturally, through meditation, exercise, and healthy living.

You Can’t Fix What You Don’t Know

‘The more that I know, the more I control.”

Mental Health (song): iTunes, Google Play, Amazon

That line pretty much sums it up for me. Once I found out I had ADHD, two things happened.

1. So many things that I was frustrated with growing up, thinking they were me, and that I was just shitty at this or that, could be explained. Poor test taking? ADHD. Getting in trouble all the time? ADHD. Stressing out during an at-bat in a game, but crushing it when the pressure was off in practice? ADHD. Poor decision making? ADHD.

2. I learned that I didn’t have to be that person ever again. I knew what I had, I learned about it, I applied the knowledge, and audited myself until I was totally on point and could thrive.

I was in control for the first time in my life.

Sifting Through The Ashes

The worst part about recognizing a cognitive disorder too late is there is a mess to clean up. One that you created by not asking more questions sooner, or recognizing that there was even a problem in the first place.

It is pretty much all your fault.

I am not talking s***. It was all my fault too.

If you are on the other side of your issue (the good side I mean), I bet you are pretty astounded that you didn’t notice the issues earlier. Hindsight is 20–20. It is also very humbling.

This is where love comes in so handy.

Having people believe in you is so vital. I am talking about unconditional love. If you are in a position where people don’t believe in you, I am really sorry. I am not sure I would be here if it wasn’t for my wife and family. I had completely messed up and wanted to change so badly. I was on fire to put in the work and make a difference. I don’t really know what I got the second chance in the first place. Maybe she saw it in me, saw that fire, knew I would fix it. Or maybe she just gave me a second chance. Either way, I ran with it.

There are so many people out there that talk a good game and are full of s***. Actions speak much louder than words, especially in a situation like this. You either make the changes or you don’t. There is a best-practices for everything. You are either “best” practicing or you aren’t. It becomes very obvious very early on in the process. Knowing what I know now, I could talk to you and know within 5 minutes if you were ready to change or not. If you make any kind of an excuse, you are not ready, and I feel sorry for your loved ones. The ones that want you to get better. That need you to get better. The ones that see the goodness in you, and all the wonderful things you could be if you would give yourself the chance. Excuses rob you and your family of that. Not taking those actions rob you and your family of that.

Stop making excuses and “get action.”

You know you can do it.

You want to do it.

So do it.

Mental Health

Every day’s a holiday in my, every day’s a holiday in my head.

Don’t know what I’m gonna get.

Don’t know if it’s worth the risk, but I, swear that I can see some change, in all the things and all the ways,

I swear I’m worth it.

I know I’m worth it.

Don’t you say I can’t change….

Every day is hit or miss.

One step shy of an apocalypse, but I never thought to run away.

That’s a lie, but I’m right here, so try, remember all the little things, that make up all our memories

And know their worth it.

It’s all worth it.

Don’t you say I can’t change……

’Cause i am a cannon ball, and I got my aim.

don’t you say I can’t change……

’cause I am an asshole, ’cause I agree.

But the more that I know,

the more I control.

And everything that you saw in me,

is more than a hope,

it’s bringing me home,

to where i want to be

One day you’ll understand, that you mean more than every single breath.

That I need you, like sun and air.

I just hope that you believe, that I’ve come a long way from the dark, that damn near ripped us both apart, and have the pieces, to bring us peace with

Don’t you say I can’t change……

’Cause i am a cannon ball, and I got my aim.

don’t you say I can’t change……

’cause I am an asshole, ’cause I agree.

But the more that I know,

the more I control.

And everything that you saw in me,

is more than a hope,

it’s bringing me home,

to where I want to be

And I want to be right here.

I belong to you belong to me.

Every place you go this fool will be.

Every day’s another day, to show you all that I can be, everything you’d ever want of me,

And I want to be right here.

Don’t you say I can’t change.

’Cause i am a cannon ball, and I got my aim.

don’t you say I can’t change……

’cause I am an asshole, ’cause I agree.

But the more that I know,

the more I control.

And everything that you saw in me,

is more than a hope,

it’s bringing me home,

to where I want to be

Mental Health (song): iTunes, Google Play, Amazon