Just One Joey: The Christmas Test

For those of you that do not celebrate Christmas, just replace “Christmas” with “Birthday”, and you will get the same effect.

With the holiday season in full swing, I think this is the perfect time to share my theory.

Test Origins

This actually started as The Birthday Test in 2004, not coincidentally, on my birthday. As I thought about it more, I realized it was really a two part test, Birthday & Christmas.

My epiphany that birthday?

“This birthday sucks!“

That’s it.

Tada!!

Keep it simple.

Just for the record, it wasn’t in a spoiled brat kind of a way. Even when I look back on it now, 12 years later, it really was a bad birthday, mostly because I was in a bad place. I was single after being in a relationship for 4 years with a wonderful girl who just wasn’t right for me. I had just started my first career at the cost of smothering my passion, I was in a tug-of-war between myself and what I thought myself should be, and to avoid dealing with it all I was burying it in partying.

It was not who I was. It was not who I wanted to be.

Something had to change.

(this is a whole other essay in itself, but my changes were extreme, and stupid. Why? Because I wasn’t really dealing with what I was feeling or going through, so I just covered it up with what made sense, another relationship and doubling down on my career. #dummy).

You

Have you ever had a s*** birthday?

Have you ever had a s*** Christmas (or whatever you celebrate)?

**On a side note these tests will work with anyone except Jehovah’s Witnesses. You guys don’t celebrate anything, so, I don’t know what to say. Sorry for not having a test for you?

Anyways,

If you have ever had a s** birthday or Christmas, you have already taken the test, but you didn’t know it.

The Test

Christmas and birthdays are inherently happy occasions. Singing, lights, presents, candles, etc. They are fun, colorful, celebratory, great days. At least they should be.

So if you find yourself having a bad one, consider it a test.

There is only one question: What the hell is going on?

J/K, kind of.

The question is, how do I change so this doesn’t happen again next year?

Notice I didn’t say, “How does he change? or she change?” It is, how do I change?

This all starts and ends with you. As soon as you place the blame for your unhappiness on anyone else, you lose. This is all you baby! Own it!

Your life not being right will never be more apparent than on a special day like Christmas or your birthday.

Those days should bring a smile to your face, and happiness to your heart. If they don’t, it is time to make a change.

Audit Your Life

As hard as it is to be down on one of these special days, you will need to dig deeper. What is bringing you down? How have you let it get to this point? What can you do about it?

If it is just a general depression because you don’t like getting older, get over it. We all get older. Take really good care of yourself so you aren’t falling apart in your 40s. There are easier ways to get older, you just need to choose wisely.

So, what is the problem?

Relationships? Money? Weight? Health?

What is it?

How did you get here? What stories have you been telling yourself? How have you been justifying it?

This test is a slap in the face.

It will get your attention.

But you MUST deal with it appropriately.

What does that mean? You need to DEAL with it.

I have a good friend that just broke up with her boyfriend. What does she want to do to feel better?

Get a damn cat.

I am cool with pets (I’m more of a dog person myself), but filling a void when the “void” is fresh is the LAST thing you should do. You need to deal with what you are, well, dealing with. Feel the feelings, sift through your thoughts, and deal with it.

Filling a void is never filling the void, it is just covering the hole.

You may not see it, but it’s there. Others may not see it, but it’s there. You need to get down in there, clean it out, and start rebuilding. In medicine it’s called debriding. When you have a deep wound (and that’s what this test exposes), you need to basically cut to heal. Dig out all the rotten flesh, the bacteria, the stuff that will keep you from healing 100% and flush it all out. Once it is gone, the wound will heal good as new, maybe even better.

Isn’t that what you want?

Don’t you want to take the feelings you are having right now and remove them forever?

Not cover, but recover?

This bad Christmas of yours is a gift.

It may look like a box of s***, but it’s The Christmas Test.

Not the thing you asked for but the thing you need.

Isn’t that how it always works out?

You don’t get what you want, you get what you need.

Well you have what you need.

Take the test.

Ace it.

And have a Happy Holiday.

To all of you who find yourselves searching this holiday season and New Year’s, keep going. Everything you need is out there. You find it with hard work and honesty with yourself. I am here if you have any questions, and there are authors/podcasters out there that can help you: Tim Ferriss, James Altucher, Tony Robbins, Jordan Harbinger, Brian Koppelman, Gary Vaynerchuk, Lewis Howes, and many more.

Keep pushing, keep look, keep asking questions, and keep being honest. It will all work out.