Whether you like it or not, you are an example to someone.
What exactly are you an example of?
That’s a great question.
You tell me.
Biographies and Autobiographies
James
Altucher says, “advice is autobiography.” I totally agree, but it is
also biography. I can give advice based on other people’s stories, and I
do. When I am answering questions on my podcast/vlog, Just Ask Joey, I
only answer things that I know about. The only way I can know about
anything is if I have lived it or seen it lived. Do my friends and
family know I am talking about them? If they are self-aware enough they
know. And to be honest, if they are self-aware I am probably saying good
things about them. If they are not self-aware, I am probably saying
something negative about them. Not in a gossipy sort of way, just a
statement of fact.
So What Kind Of An Example Are You?
To make this easier, let’s look at the major aspects of your life: work, home, and friends.
Work:
What kind of an example are you there? What do people say about you? What would they say if they were asked?
Are you nice or mean? Hardworking or lazy? First to arrive and last to leave, or last to arrive and first to leave?
Be honest.
Are you the best, the worst, or somewhere in between?
If someone were writing the story of your company or your office, what character are you?
Are
you the type of person that brings the office up or down? Is the
quality of the work better when you are involved? Is the moral higher
when you are on a team?
The big question is, when they are training a newbie, are you the example of what to do or what not to do?
Ask yourself that.
And
if you are anywhere on that spectrum other than the top, why are you ok
with that? Mediocrity, or laziness, sloppiness, never going the extra
mile. How have you allowed yourself to be okay with that?
Recognize your example for what it is, and make it better.
Home:
What kind of a spouse are you?
What kind of a parent?
When your kids grow up, are they going to want to be like you, or the opposite of you? Where are you strong? Where are you weak?
If
you don’t have kids this is even better. You can think about the type
of parent you want to be. Are you going to be the example that your kids
emulate? Or the opposite?
Look
at your parents. Do you do the same thing as them or totally different?
Why? What type of an example are you going to be for your kids?
These are the kinds of questions we need to ask ourselves.
This
is an even bigger one to ask yourself: if you think you are a good
example as a parent, would your kids and spouse feel the same way if
they knew everything that they don’t know? The things you don’t tell
them? That they don’t see?
This
is a huge question, and one that many people get caught on. If they
don’t know it can’t hurt them. That is poisonous thinking.
Everything effects everything, whether it is known or not.
Whatever
you are hiding, either knock it off, or tell them so it forces you to
knock it off (I suggest this, the truth really can set you free).
Friend:
Do your friends look at you as someone who adds to their life, or takes away?
I am not talking entertainment value, I am talking about real value.
What do you bring to the table?
Do you find yourself with the same friends as you always have, or do you cycle through friendships?
What does it mean to be a good friend?
Are you there for them?
Do you keep track of favors to make sure you don’t do too many without getting some in return?
Can they count on you?
Can you count on them?
Are they good people to have around? Are you good for them? Do you fight? Do you argue?
If they were making a list of the “best” (as in best person) friends, where you on that list?
Purpose
What I am taking the long way to say is, you need to live with purpose.
You
need to audit the hell out of yourself to make sure you are actually
living the life you think you are. Don’t fool yourself. Don’t ignore the
questions because they are too hard to answer. Get in there.
Clean out
the wounds, and be stronger than ever.
Work with purpose.
Be a part of your family with purpose. Be a child with purpose. A spouse or partner with purpose. A parent with purpose.
Be a friend with purpose.
Any
time you get in to a situation where you need to question what you are
doing you can ask yourself, what example am I setting? Why? Because it
is not only about you. Someone, somewhere is watching. They will either
use you as an example to, or an example not to.
Choose to live better.
Choose to be better.
An example that we can all follow.
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