This is an article to help you with the difficult relationships in your life.
Do you hate somebody?
Do you cringe when you see them?
Do they ruin your day?
That
is no way to live. Even if you only see them a few times a year, it’s
no way to feel. Hate is ugly.
Giving someone the power to ruin your day
is sad.
Take the power back by changing your perspective.
Absolute Value
This is a math term, but you do not need to be a math lover to apply it to your life.
To put it plainly, it is the value from zero.
5 from zero could be a 5 or a -5.
That means whether it is positive or negative, the value is 5.
The greater the positive or the greater the negative, the greater the value.
-100 has just as much value as 100.
They are both 100 away from zero.
The bigger the positive, the bigger the value.
The bigger the negative, the bigger the value.
Relationships
If we apply this to relationships in our life, we can find the positive in even the most negative relationships.
Remember, the more negative, the higher the value.
Can you see the power in that?
It changes everything.
This can be a defining moment in your life.
The day you applied absolute value to your life.
You will gain just as much from the negative relationships as the positive ones in your life.
Application
What are some of your best relationships?
Friends? Parents? Siblings? Grandparents? Children?
What have you learned from them?
Make a list of 5 people and mark a tally for every lesson they taught you.
Now.
What are some of your worst relationships?
Unfortunately, this could be the same people on the positive list.
Family? Co-workers? Friends? Parents? Children? Spouses?
Make a list of your least favorite people, or the ones that have caused you the most harm.
I hope it’s not more than 5, but if it is, this exercise will benefit you even more.
Now,
make a list of every bad thing they did to you. I mean EVERYTHING. This
is for your eyes only, so be honest, dig deep, put it on paper.
Keep this in mind while you are deciding what to write down, we can’t learn from the negative if we deny it’s there.
This part is never easy, but it is the most important.
Once you get everything out, as painful as it is, you can get to the good part.
Take
each of those bad things, and write out what you learned from them. Try
to come up with two or three things for each negative.
Remember,
they are supposed to be positive. You can’t put something like, “I
learned that he/she is an a**hole.” That doesn’t count. Keep it a
positive learning experience.
Now tally them up.
5 things? 10? 20? 30?
The more you practice the more you will come up with, the easier it gets.
The Number
What you will find is that some of your negative relationships actually have brought you more value than your positive ones.
Bad relationships can make you: stronger, smarter, more aware, resilient, compassionate, driven, and loving.
If
you don’t focus on the negative, it diminishes that person’s power over
you, their ability to ruin your day, to make you sad, and your feelings
of hate.
I’m
not saying you want to run up to them and give you a big ol sloppy kiss,
but through their negativity in your life, you are a better person.
Their value in your life is higher than you thought.
You are better because of the negativity they brought in your life.
????
I know what you are thinking.
“If I am better because of the negative, is it really a negative?”
Exactly my point.
How different do you feel now?
The
absolute value can be applied to anything negative if your life. No
matter what, when you take the knowledge gained, you find the value.
Missing out on the promotion, or new job.
What did you learn?
What is the value?
My parents are sick.
What did you learn?
What is the value?
He verbally abused me.
What did you learn?
What is the value?
They were a horrible parent.
What did you learn?
What is the value?
You are a collection of the things that have happened to you, and the perspective you have given those things.
If you are unhappy, you need to change your perspective.
If you are sad, you need to change your perspective.
Find The Value
Find the positive you can take away from everything s****y that has ever happened to you.
All of those things have either made you better, or they are just waiting to make you better.
Find the absolute value in everything, positive and negative.
If you can spin everything to work in your favor, things start working in your favor.
Make the change.
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