Hate is ugly.
Hate is unhealthy.
“But man, he/she is such an asshole.”
They did this to me.
They did that to me.
They make my life hard.
“I hate them.”
It’s Time To Re-write The Narrative
Just
to be clear, my approach does not to take away from whatever they did
to you, or continue to do to you. It is to look at the situation from
the other side of the coin.
What if you were able to take the negative and make it a positive?
What if you could take the hate and learn to love?
The most important thing you can get out of this article is:
“Life is not what happens to you, it is what you do with it.”
If
you want to dwell on yesterday, go ahead. It won’t get you anywhere,
but, be my guest. The more you look backwards the less you are looking
forward. I can’t remember who says this, but there is a reason the
windshield is big and the review mirror is small.
Focus on the future, not the past.
And how do you do that Mr. Smarty Pants?
I’m glad you asked.
Step #1
Take
the negative from yesterday, and focus on the growth it gave you for
today. Focus on how much better you are today because of what you had to
overcome yesterday.
They taught you something.
It exposed a weakness.
They broke you down.
If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t have been able to build up stronger.
You would still have that weakness, and not even know it was there.
But now do.
Thanks to them.
Value
the relationship for what you gained from it. Just because it was not
intended to be positive doesn’t mean you can’t make it positive.
Go
back to 7th grade math, or whenever you learn this stuff, and think of
it like an Absolute Value: the distance from zero. -10 and 10 are both
10 units away from 0. The value is 10. This person may be a -10 on your
“life” line, but they are an Absolute Value of 10. You got 10 out of
that relationship, even if they gave it to you negatively.
Still with me?
Ok, less with the math analogy and more with some hippy, mental stuff.
Step #2
Sit
down. Close your eyes, and imagine the person(s) you hate. Just look at
them. They aren’t saying anything, they aren’t doing anything. It is
just you and them, in a room, looking at each other.
Tell them why you hate them.
You don’t need to yell. You don’t need to scream.
Just look, and talk.
After you have told them everything, let it sit in the air for a minute. Give it time to sink in.
Now walk over to them.
Put your arms around them.
And give them a hug.
Tell them, “I love you.”
Put
the image of love and loving them in your mind. That’s where all of
this hate comes from, and it’s where you can turn it around.
Every
time you are feeling the negative, hateful feelings, just imagine
hugging them, telling them you love them. Eventually the hate will
recede, love will fill the void, and you can start using the windshield
again.
Does this sound hippy dippy? Absolutely.
Does this work? Absolutely.
Try it and tell me it doesn’t. I dare you.
I triple dog dare you.
The Power Of Your Mind
You control your mind. Your mind does not control you.
Have
a thought you don’t want to have? Don’t. Think of something else. Put
another image in your head, put another thought in your head. Flip the
script.
Your brain is a muscle, the more you use it the way you want it to produce, the more it produces for you.
Want
to be more positive, think positive thoughts. Want to love more, think
more loving thoughts.
The more you practice the more you produce.
By
thinking about the negative and the hate, you are not only building up
your “poor me” muscles, you are giving that person power over you.
Remember, the more you practice, the more you produce.
That works with
negative thoughts just as much as positive ones.
What do you want to produce?
Love, power, strength, and resilience?
Or weakness, fragility, and powerlessness?
It sounds like a stupid question doesn’t it? But people choose the latter ALL THE TIME.
You don’t need to be one of those people.
You control your mind.
Your mind does not control you.
“Take the power back” — Public Enemy
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