Embrace Social Media, Dominate The Wine Industry

I love wine.

It’s art.

From the growing to the harvesting, fermenting to aging.

The bottle to the glass.

And finally, the complete embrace of all of my senses at once.

Nothing does that like wine and food.

I love wine.

My issue with wine has nothing to do with the product, it’s with the wineries.
And it’s not even the wineries themselves, it’s with their media. It’s pathetic.

It’s disturbing actually.

We live in a time where there is access to hundreds of millions of people 24-7. Creativity and out-of-the-box thinking creates superstars on the internet and in social media every day, and you would think wineries were using a cookie cutter for their media content, and the cookie cutter was made in 1998. It reminds me of the scene in Edward Scissorhands when the men leave for work in the morning. Each house looks the same, each car looks the same, leaving at the same time, in the same direction.

That’s the wine media.

Everything is the same.

EVERYTHING.

Some do the “everything” much better than others, but it is still the same crap.

This is every wine website:

1. Pictures of sweeping views of beautiful vineyards (no s***, they are all beautiful. It’s beautiful greenery in rolling hills. Guess what? They all look the same). What makes you different?
2. Beautifully placed wine glasses, with gorgeous golden whites and deep reds. Wow. Wine all looks the same. What makes you different?
3. Wine tastings, VIP tours, “cave” tours, concerts, wine clubs. What makes you different?
4. Buy our wine. Everyone wants me to buy their wine, what makes you different? Some wineries don’t even explain their wine flavors, differences, nuances, what they pair well with, anything. It is so arrogant. Why would ANYONE buy your wine if they hadn’t already tasted it? Think about that.
5. Videos, usually consisting of beautifully majestic scenery. I admit, it is beautiful. But you know what? It was beautiful in the 200 other winery videos too. What makes you different?
6. This is actually really cool (but I love cooking, so I’m biased), but everyone else is doing it (the good ones). What makes you different?

I know what you are going to say, “the wine speaks for itself.”

That’s arrogant. Snooty Patooty.

That’s why you are ok with your page looking exactly the same as everyone else’s. That’s why you offer the same thing that everyone else does, because once they try yours they will “fall in love.” That may be true, but you have to get them to try it first. Take whatever number of people come through your winery a year, now times that by a 100 million, that’s what you are leaving on the table with your weak a** media. 100 mil. That’s 8 zeros.

What is driving people to your site?

What is driving people to the store, to your bottle, to the checkout, to their house, to their family, to their dinner table?

Because you have rolling hills and pictures of wine glasses in HD? Well, whooptie doo!

I saw the same thing over and over. And over. And over. It was like Groundhog Day. No one does anything different.

I take that back, I saw one that was great, Tooth and Nail Winery, in Paso Robles (http://www.toothandnailwinery.com/). Totally different look, works great on a desktop or smart phone. It totally distinguished itself, bravo! But then everything it linked to was poop. It’s Facebook looked like everyone else’s. Instagram, Twitter, etc., same ‘ol same ‘ol. Their “buy” page was bad too. Ugly. Outdated. Not one descriptive word about their wine. Not one. Gorgeous bottles. Amazing art. No description. Blended red. What the hell does that mean? I’ve had it, it’s fantastic wine, but if you didn’t know about it already, why in the hell would you buy it? It gives nothing to draw you in to what the experience would be like to drink their (very good) wine. A+ on the website. C- on everything else (it would be a D if the wine wasn’t so good).

Wineries need to think about the potential customers that have never been to their winery. There are a lot of people that will never make it to Paso Robles, or Napa, or Washington. Your wine is in their local stores I am sure, but what is going to draw them in? Treat it as if they were walking by on the street. You have a cool storefront, but what’s inside? Entice me. Find me where I am, and lead me to you.

Where am I you ask? On my phone. Flipping through my apps, begging for something to be presented well enough to draw me in. Please do that for me.

I saw two other wineries with great sites: Lightfoot and Wolfville Wines (http://lightfootandwolfvillewines.com/) and my favorite wine and winery in Napa (and I am a Cabernet/Bordeaux guy, not Pinot Noir), Domaine Carneros (https://www.domainecarneros.com/).
But guess what? Gorgeous websites. Impeccable. But. It’s still that same ‘ol s***. If I didn’t go to Domaine Carneros on the suggestion from a big time wine consultant (http://www.hrbp1.com/), I would have never known, or wanted to know, based on the website.

Think about that. Really think about it this time. I don’t think you really did last time.

You Are Missing Out On A Golden Opportunity

Henry Ford. Andrew Carnegie. John D. Rockefeller.

What did they do?

They seized an opportunity.

What are you going to do Mr. Winery guy? Are you going to attack this opportunity, or are you going to keep doing what you are doing?

Showing people pictures of your winery, your bottles, blah blah blah. It all looks the same. They are ALL beautiful! How are you going to separate? Stand out? I am sure your wine is fantastic, but why would I want to try it based on the millions of other sites that look the same? Word of mouth? Awesome. In the digital age, where information travels as fast as light, you are going to rely on the same thing cavemen did. Awesome.

How A Winery Can Separate

1. Pay someone to do ALL of your media: Web page, social media, videos, blogs, vlogs, short-films, long-films, etc. There is huge money in wine, drop $100-$200k and get an exciting, entertaining, innovative person in there to dominate it. Find the right person, give them the “keys to the car” and watch them take off. This is a huge job, so be very careful on who you hire. They will be one of the faces of your winery, so make sure they exude all the qualities of your winery and the image you want to portray.

Or take some of that money, and either hire or consult with guys like: Chase Jarvis (@chasejarvis) and Casey Neistat (@CaseyNeistat). They are genius creatives. 10 minutes with them could change your lives. They are brilliant and can see things that normal people can’t. They will show you your potential.

1. LINK EVERYTHING TOGETHER!!!!!! Make sure everything is tied to the other, PLEASE. There are a lot of ideas here, you are going to have a ton of content, but if you don’t link everything together people will not find what you want them to. Are all these ideas designed to “find” people where they frequent? Absolutely. Once they are “found” they can be lead through everything else, but only if you link it! You should be able to bounce between: YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Medium, LinkedIn, Snapchat, and iTunes (for podcasts of course) seamlessly. People are on their phones, they need smooth transitions or they will be “on to the next one.” Jay-Z knows what he is talking about.

1. Copy What Others Do Well: Check out the top 100 wineries and their sites. Things that they do well, make sure you do well too, preferably better. This is competition. Survival of the fittest. Beat them at their own game, then beat them at a game they aren’t even playing yet. Always be a step ahead.   

Copy Club W (www.clubw.com). Seriously. They have a very cool thing to determine your palette. You (wineries) are throwing out all kinds of crap about your wine that sound wonderful, but what if I don’t know my palette? Maybe I don’t know what I like. Maybe I am too afraid to experiment. Come up with your own “palette evaluator.” Customers fill it out and then you tell them exactly which of your wines meet their particular tastes. Make it personal. It is a beautiful, heartfelt, personal relationship all the way through the wine making process, why stop at the bottling? Continue it on to your customers. Don’t just tell them about your wine, let them find the ones that they will like based on them personally. So many people don’t know!

1. Use the customers you already have: Go through all of your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram friends. Take the five (5) with the most friends or followers and give them a free tour/tasting for them and a couple of their friends. The only stipulation is they have to “document” it on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. Hell, forget the “or,” AND! For $100 worht of touring and wine tasting you could advertise your winery to thousands of people from a trusted source, not a winery that is trying to get your money. Use the power players on social media. They are easy to find.

If your “friends” aren’t very popular on social media, find someone who is and pay them to come out and story tell. Make sure it is someone in your demographic (I am guessing 25-55, professional, $75,000 - $200,000 take home? Sound about right?) and go for it. Hell, go big and pay someone like Gary Vaynerchuk (@GaryVee) to come out and do a special episode of Wine Library TV (http://tv.winelibrary.com/) all about your wines. Boom! Millions of views all over the world right there. You’re welcome.
Have customer competitions: The best recipes for certain wines, a cook off, have them shoot commercials, the best pictures (do different categories: funny, beautiful, inspiring, etc), best videos for why your wine is so great. You can do anything. Get the customers to participate. This is where I think wineries totally miss an opportunity. They always tell you what is good, why it’s good, it’s time to share in the experience. 10,000 ideas from 10,000 different people is better than 10 ideas from one (even if that one is me).

1. Youtube: Make movies! Not just a, “Hey, look how pretty my winery and wine is” movies, make movies of every aspect of your winery. Get a camera and some editing equipment and go to town. I would suggest getting some decent equipment. Check out this blog post (https://medium.com/creating-videos/what-equipment-i-use-to-create-the-askgaryvee-show-7a24fe7d1ef#.bxh6ks2z8) for some suggestions, and get to work. Or find someone to get to work for you. Remember, you are putting in a couple bucks to get this done. Don’t be cheap. Find the right people to do the right thing.

Show the process: Wine making is a process, duh, let the consumer see the process: pruning, bud breaking, flowering, canopy, harvest, crush, aging, bottling, everything! There are 9 movies a year, just for that, and I know there is more to the process! Do a vlog (video blog) once a week on what you are doing in the wine making process. Document everything, put it together and make it interesting. Everyone is different. You are going to have a different audience for different aspects of the creation process. Cover all your bases.
Do a Q & A: Let people ask you questions. Wineries are so in to telling people information, let them ask about the information. Let them ask the winemakers directly. Let them ask whomever they want to ask at the winery. Maybe they are interested in starting a winery and they have questions. Open up the entire team to be able to answer questions. It’s content that is created by the consumers. You don’t have to do anything. Just sit back and wait. No one asking you questions? Make some up and answer those! Make it look like people are asking you questions until they actually do. It’s called being scrappy. Respect it.
Short films: Serious, funny, informational, documentary style, skits, etc. Do them all! Don’t know what to do? Search those topics on YouTube and find a topic or a style that you could emulate, or do a parody of what’s popular at that time. Remember #2? Copy what others do well. You could hire people to write out a few funny sketches, or a few screenplays. You are a winery, trade wine for ideas! It’s a win win!     

1. Twitter/Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat: These are all different, but similar enough to group together. People need to see what is going on with your wine and at your winery. Show them. Not just the beautiful wine glasses with the rolling hills in the background. Not just (another) concert in your Summer Concert Series, show them the guts of your operation. Tell them about the behind the scenes. Show them what isn’t obvious to EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. Stop only showing pictures of weddings! Everyone knows there are weddings at your winery. I know it’s a money maker but you need to be thinking long term, think big picture. Not the $50k that that ONE wedding will bring you, but the hundreds of thousands that better media will bring in. Big vision. Long game.

Find some great personalities at your winery and make them a part of your story. Create mini celebrities. People will connect with them and want to visit. It’s so easy! Use what you are already doing with the people that are already doing it! Howard Stern, Dave Letterman, Rod Dyrdek, they all took the people around them and made them stars. Find the stars around you!

HASHTAG SEARCH!!! This is huge. This is interaction at it’s finest. Hashtag your name, like and respond to EVERYTHING using your name. People love crap like that. I was in San Francisco at the Grand Hyatt in Union Square a month ago. I got there, went to my room, took a picture out of my window at the beautiful view, and hash-tagged #GrandHyatt. 2 minutes later I got a “heart” and a reply, “Hope you have a great stay, please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more enjoyable.” You know what I said? A whole lot of bad words (but in a good way). That is immediate interaction with a client. Immediate. Guess who has two thumbs and loves the Grand Hyatt? This guy (picture it). You can do that! Do you have any idea how powerful that is? Of course not, or you would be doing it already. Seek out #wine, #wineries, #winetasting (and whatever wines you sell, #cabernet, #chardonnay, etc.) every day and interact with people. Don’t sell your product, interact. If you are social, witty, charming, they will look at your profile, and because everything is linked, BAM, they are locked in. Be social. Think of Twitter like a cocktail party. Go mingle.
I discussed the “power” players on social media earlier. Get them in the door. Treat them well. Treat their friends well. Have them share their experience with their followers. It will mean more coming from them anyways, more personal.

Use an official Snapchat. Tell stories, share experiences from around the winery. Or, have customers share their experiences with you, then you share them on the official Snapchat of the winery. Check out the 59parks on SC. They do an awesome job of sharing the stories of their followers when they go to different National Parks around the country. You could also check out ArsenicTV. Models send their personal SCs directly to ArsenicTV and then ArsenicTV decides who goes up and who doesn’t. I am not endorsing this at all by the way. It’s just a bunch of hot chicks talking about bs, but it shows what I am talking about, input from the masses. (Not that there’s anything wrong with hot chicks talking about anything, but it’s not exactly going to revolutionize the world, know what I mean Vern?) Mixing up the faces and voices you are sending out will keep the feed fresh for the consumers as well.

Share the best stuff on one thing on the others. If there is a great snap, share it on FB, Twitter, and Instagram, and vice versa. Use everything for everything. Link up YouTube posts and tweet them out, post a still frame from the video on Instagram and have the link to it in the bio. Make sure every blog post (#7, spoiler alert) is shared on all of these as well. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
This is all VERY time consuming, which is why #1 was to hire a professional to do all of this. Pay them well, they could change your life forever if they do it right. Don’t be short-sighted. Don’t think of what you are, think of what you could be. What you are leaving on the table. Make sense? Good.     

1. Blog/Vlog/Podcast. The same way you create content for your videos, you do here as well. The process, common questions, uncommon questions, funny stories, history, etc. Put out strong content on a regular basis. You can blog about things you vlog about, and the vlogs can be used for the podcasts. Don’t think of everything as it’s own separate entity. These all can be manipulated to fit the other’s medium. Speaking of Medium (www.medium.com), that’s where you should post your blogs! Hell, post your blogs everywhere: Blogger.com, Wordpress.com, your website (duh), LinkedIn, and make sure to share those on all of your social media (very important).

1. Revolutionize Wine Parings: I love this. This is going to be huge. Wineries give you recipes to follow for certain wines, everyone knows the general pairings depending on the meats you are eating, or the cheeses, chocolates, etc.

BIG IDEA TIME! Start your own wine pairing app. People input their ingredients and it tells them the perfect wine of yours that fit their meal. You know how many people would use that? Right. Everyone and their mom. Probably even YOUR mom. Man, I should go find an angel investor myself and start this. Why am I giving all my good s*** to you guys?

Stop telling people what they should drink with which wine. Go to them! Pair your wine with things they already eat. Go crazy. What pairs well with all the different items at McDonalds? Or Taco Bell? Burger King? Chick Fil-A? Focus on things they will bring home. Things they could drink your wine with. Then get in to restaurants that you are served in. You are going to be so popular on social media, restaurants will WANT to serve your wines. Do them a “solid” and run through their menu with your wines (except Cheesecake Factory, that menu is too big. It’s like a novel for food, too many choices). Make funny videos and blogs out of it. Remember, your media guy/gal is great in front of the camera and with people, utilize that in videos like these.  Who does wine tastings with McDonalds? You do!! You are standing the hell out now baby!

Bring out food trucks that have foods that pair well with your wine. Make it fun. We are drinking after all, right? Even if it’s not fun, it will be after a couple more glasses. Am I right or am I right?

1. I know you have events already, but mix it up. Country music and 70’s rock are great, but make sure you have some comedians in there, maybe even some sketch comedy. Vineyards are huge, host a 10k race. They run all over your vineyard, then hang out all day drinking and eating! Sounds pretty good to me!

Who Is Going To Take Over?

There is someone out there that is running a winery that is going to take this challenge on. Is it going to be you? The first one on board is going to corner the market. Do it soon and do it well. Bring in the best. Spend the money to get the right person. The right person for this job will need to be very dedicated and very hardworking. You will know if they have the right personality the second they walk in the room. It will be obvious. Make sure they have the tenacity and grit. This is a huge project, it will take time to build, and it will always be growing. The right person is key. Check out the book Grit (https://goo.gl/EBngww) to have some idea of who I am talking about. I have no affiliation to the book, just finished it and think it’s awesome, even if they do talk about the Seattle Seahawks a lot (go Niners!).

The ball is in your court. The gauntlet is set. It’s time to separate. I don’t mean build a huge castle in Napa to get people to your winery but your wine sucks (not naming the winery). This is not a gimmick, this is a New World Order for marketing your wine.

Please. Someone. Get on this.

I can’t wait to see it. Tell me when you do. I’m excited for whomever takes this on.

Go get ‘em tiger.

Joey
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Baseball Could Learn From Metallica

Baseball?

Looking to Metallica?

The heavy metal band?

That Metallica?

Yup.

Not kidding.

Instead of fighting the ever changing technological landscape, baseball needs to embrace it!
I know they have softened their stance on Periscope, but they are just scratching the surface.

The speed at which things are changing, having a stance other than “learning, using, and adopting all popular technology,” is like trying to get out of quicksand.

You are just going to lose. The tech will never stop.

They need a group that takes all of the apps that show any promise of mass popularity, figure out how they work, and then use the crap out of them. Period. Either that, or hire VaynerMedia, which will essentially, do the same thing.  

You will either die fighting the next thing that comes out, or do like Metallica did: embrace it and crush your competition.

A Little History

Before music was “free” on the internet, bands had to worry about bootlegs. I am sure it was a real issue, but have you ever listened to or seen bootlegs from the 90’s? They are horrible. Anyways, they were still an issue, pulling potential revenue away from the musicians. Metallica basically eliminated them, and in a time when bootlegging has never been easier. You have a whole recording studio in your pocket nowadays. It’s almost too easy. And by almost, I mean it is.
How did Metallica do this? By making their own bootlegs! By taking the thing they were fighting against, embracing it, and then doing it better than any bootlegger could ever do. It’s like befriending an enemy. So, theoretically, baseball could also take a few pointers from The Real Housewives or any other stupid “reality” show.

Anyhoo…..

You can look up virtually any concert Metallica has played the last half dozen years, and it is available for download, with THEIR mix, through THEIR board, and all for the price of a CD. It’s amazing. The two shows I went to at The Shark Tank a few years ago? Got em. I can relive those nights any time I want. Did they play and awesome song? Did James say something cool or funny in between hits? I got em. I can relieve that in-person, thrilling event any time I want.

Pretty awesome, huh?

(**bonus idea: Baseball? Maybe sell DVDs of every game for $5? Or a free download with the purchase of a t-shirt at the game or something. They get a code if they spend a certain amount? Think about it. Let it marinate for a bit, but it smells good already.)

You Can Do It Baseball!

Baseball should take the “Metallica” approach. (or the “Metal Up Your Ass” approach for all you fans out there) No matter what the technology, no matter what the app, or soon, no matter what the VR tech, no matter what the problem, hit it head on. Infiltrate it and take it over. Seek and Destroy. Keep in mind, we are dealing with people that have unimaginable power at their fingertips. Every owner knows someone in their cell phone that could take this on and destroy anyone trying to capitalize on it. It’s just a willingness to go for it, to attack the enemy on their home soil! Let’s do this! We’re Americans damnit! We take the fight to the enemy. I can’t speak for the Blue Jays. I don’t know enough about Canada. Or as our intelligent brethren call it, Canadia. But I know the rest of the teams are up for it!

Let’s talk turkey.     

Here are my ideas:

Periscope/Twitter: I hope you have already read my article on helmet cams. If not, here is a brief synopsis: When your team, or your player is up to bat, you get a message from Twitter/Periscope that you can watch live. That means you are watching the game with the batters point of view. Buster Posey, Jose Bautista (imagine that punch with a helmet cam!!), or Bryce Harper. What he sees, you see. It will be like being up to fricken bat in the Big Leagues! If you have Samsung, or whatever company is pushing the goggle things, you will be money! (That’s a 90s term kids. Forgive me. I turn 37 next week).

Can you imagine the interaction? Twitter is hopping when a game is on already, imagine if the phone told you every time you should tune in? The amount of interactions you would have throughout a season with your fans would be amazing. There are 162 games! There are 30 teams! MLB would basically be tweeting you saying, “man, you should really check this out! Just looking out for you! We’re buds, remember?” All season! On top of that, even if you are busy, the at bats will stay there in the Twittersphere, so fans can catch up later. They won’t depend on ESPN or FOXSPORTS or anyone else, because MLB will have conquered the Twitter/Periscope world.
Boom.

Let the dust settle in your mind before moving on.

Ready?

You can use it for: at bats, and in-between innings. Put cameras all over the park so fans can choose the experience they want, the way they want to view the game. Go nuts! Umpire helmets, a catcher cam. The possibilities are endless. With cameras getting cheaper and cheaper, the cost to actually set this up in minimal. I mean, these owners aren’t exactly collecting food stamps, know what I mean Vern?

With Twitter, you can connect just as easily visually as you can in writing. Whatever type of interaction the fans want, even if it is with the other team’s fans, they can have it. A total experience.
A totally personal experience.

These same ideas can apply with Facebook Live as well. Really, you could just have them bid it out. It could be one big ‘ol contract for the MLB as a whole, or better yet, just individual teams. Different markets are going to require different things. Just check out the interactions of fans on Twitter during a game. Diamondbacks? Not so much. Yankees? Insanity.

Would it really matter in the long run which social media powerhouse is doing the streaming? No. Or for our Spanish speakers, no. As long as you are giving in-depth access to the game the fans love, in the way they want to consume it, it’s a huge win. It’s an enormous win.

Throw some advertising in there because the engagement will be unreal, and everyone wins. Yay!

Snapchat: Again, the possibilities are off the charts. Please keep in mind that baseball is losing popularity in America. Face the facts. Instead of denying it, and not addressing it, embrace IT, and embrace the youth. They are the future and they are on Snapchat. If each MLB team had an official Snapchat, it not only could attack the “popularity with youth” issue, it would bring a ton of adults to Snapchat just to follow their favorite teams. Could you reach a huge audience with enhancing the Twitter/Periscope connection only? Absolutely, but we are attacking on all fronts here, and Snapchat is a MASSIVE front. This is like World War 12 people!

Ideas for Snapchat:

Each official team Snapchat “snaps” out every pitch of every game. Seriously. You could watch the whole game in 10 minutes. Let’s do some math: the average number of at-bats per team is about 34, times two, that’s 68 at-bats per game total, average of 3.5 pitches per at bat, carry the one, that’s 238 pitches on average per game. Each pitch takes what? 3 seconds? So in 11.9 minutes, you could watch every pitch. If you don’t have 8 hours to watch a Yankees v. Red Sox game, snap it up baby! Who wouldn’t want that if you missed the game? If you only have a short break at work and want to catch up on your team? For the watercooler the next day so you could join in on the discussion without sitting around the night before for 4 hours (unless Kershaw is pitching, then you would only need 2), and actually watch every pitch?

Try this one: each game have a different player do “snaps” for the team. Find the guys with the best personalities, or the funniest, or will go nuts and snap everything. Give people the chance to fall in love with the players. That’s what really attracts fans, loving players. Not just every 3 innings when they bat. Not every 5 games when they pitch. Fans want more of them, and this allows that.  
Honestly, I would sign Brian Wilson just to run this for my team. $1 million a year, just for his on-camera personality. Is he a dick? Maybe, but he’s a funny dick. Sign ‘em!

Can you imagine the interaction with the fans? Think depth and width here. It’s like the ocean. Try and wrap your head around that.

The sheer consumption of the sport! It would be so personal, and so intimate. It is exactly what baseball needs. The superstars aren’t superstars! This would solve that issue!

Pop a couple ads in between “snaps” because the consumption rate is so high, and BAM! Everyone wins, yet again (with a British accent).

Players become personalities off the field which will make them more popular, which will make the team more popular, which makes the sport more popular. Can you smell what I’m stepping in?

I don’t want to make this too long, so I am going to stop while I’m ahead

You want to discuss more stuff like this? Hit me up! I love sports and I love tech. I want them to have beautiful babies. If you are from MLB, PLEASE hit me up! Me and Manfred, Netflix and chill. Can you feel it?

I Love This Sport

Wouldn’t it be great to see baseball regain its popularity? Spring training, The Boys of Summer, The Mid-Summer Classic, and now the World Baseball Classic. The sport is beautiful. It’s the history of The United States wrapped up in a wooden bat and yarn. It’s awesome.

People need to be reintroduced to America’s Pastime.

It was never a better opportunity than now.

The thing that made it perfect for radio is what makes it perfect for tech.

It is slow and beautiful.

You can take the time to describe it in a way that allows the audience to see it clearly in their mind. Social media allows the same thing. No other sport can do this. Basketball? Negative. Football? Eh, not even close. Hockey? Come on. Tech can take you IN to the game, to be a part of its beauty and grace.

This is it. This is the “white” space that other sports can’t operate in. Work in THIS space, get intimate with your enemies, and take them over.

This is baseball’s Renaissance.

It’s time to grab your paintbrush.

Joey
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Baseball & Twitter Are Having A Baby!

Are you sitting down?

Are you some place safe?

Reading this blog may cause you to pass out, falling and injuring your head, and never getting the

chance to see this come to life. And it will, come, to life.

It has to.

It’s too good not to.  

I, Joey, will be playing the part of the Millionaire Matchmaker. In this case, I will be playing the part of the Billionaire Match Maker.

I am working for free, and I am happy to do it.

Today, we will be attempting to combine the past and the future, in the most spectacular, life-altering way imaginable to anyone who has ever dreamed of being a Major League Baseball player.

Twitter and Major League Baseball are having a baby.

The combination of DNA is going to revolutionize sports viewing forever.

MLB? Technology? Say it ain’t so Joe(y)!

It’s so. In fact, this is what will bring all the old skool baseball fans in to the technological world for good.

I am even giving away the algorithm:

Periscope + Baseball Helmet = HOLY SHIT!!!

Just to be clear, I am not a mathematician. That is not a real algorithm. But if you didn’t know that, you are not a math person either.

I am going to make this quick then leave you to clean the mess you will inevitably leave in your pants. In layman’s terms, you are about to shit your pants.

Now that we are all on the same page, imagine this:

Dodgers v. Giants - June 11, 2016, AT&T Park (I still call it Pac Bell, but I want to be respectful)

It’s the bottom of the 7th inning.

Giants are down 1-3.

It was a clear day in San Francisco. Warm, and 79 degrees. Perfect baseball weather in front of another sold out crowd. The fact that they are playing against the hated Dodgers makes this beautiful, late-Spring Saturday even better.  

The shadows have finally crept across the field, but the scoreboard still basking in the sun, boats in the cove, freighters off in the distance.  

The coastal breeze is finally picking up. A few fans have even put on their sweatshirts to fight off the slight nip in the air.

You can see clear across The Bay this evening, to the city that is slowly suffocating all of it’s sports teams in to leaving (nice job Oakland, you dummies).

Kershaw has pitched a phenomenal game. Aside from a walk in the 3rd and a solo shot by Belt in the 5th, he’s been spectacular. 11 K’s in total, striking out the side in the first two innings. He’s been on fire, and the home crowd is getting restless.

But he seems to be tiring out. It is the 7th. And it is Kershaw. You either get him now, or you can count this one as an “L”.

Joe Panic starts off the bottom of the inning with opposite field single.

Then Matt Duffy squeezes a tight pitch on the inside corner in to a walk on a full count.  

The Giants are in business.

Up comes the former MVP, Buster Posey. Catcher. Part-time first baseman. Toyota driver (if you believe the commercials).

This is where EVERYTHING changes my friends.

Buster has a little device in his helmet.

A camera.

And you just got a tweet on your smartphone.

Buster Posey is live on Periscope.

Holy shit.

You click the link, and you are immediately transported. Not only to San Francisco, California. Not only to Pac Bell (damnit, AT&T Park). Not only to the field, but to the batter’s box.

Did you hear me?

THE BATTER’S BOX!!!!

You see what Posey sees.

Let me say that again to make sure you are listening.

YOU. SEE. WHAT. POSEY. SEES!

Posey looks down the 3rd baseline to Roberto Kelly for the sign.

You see the sign.

You don’t know what all that hand slapping, ear tugging, crotch grabbing means, but you see it.

Swing away.

You see a sweeping view of the field as he steps in to the box.

You see him digging in to the box.

It looks like YOU are digging in to the box.

You are up to bat!

For all you porn fans this is called POV (I’ve heard, not that I know).

He looks at Kershaw.

You look at Kershaw.

He shakes off a couple pitches.

He gives the nod.

Here it comes.

Are you ready?

A slow windup and WOOSH! SLAP!

The ball looked like it fell off a damn kitchen table!!

You have never seen anything like it!

Holy shit!

A Kershaw curveball! From Buster Posey’s point of view!

Holy shit!!

Ok. Breathe deep. Hooooza.  

Check the 3rd base coach.

Dig in to the box.

And wait.

And wait.

Fricken Kershaw.

Posey calls time.

You see him look at the ump.

He looks around the crowd. He’s adjusting his batting gloves. He adjusts his helmet.

You see him check the sign again.

Here we go.

Dig in.

He nods “yes.”

“This is it don’t get scared now.” – Kevin McAllister.

You use the windup, and the delivery, but it is so fast, all you see is a white blur.

But you hear a CRACK!

And you see the ball climbing higher and higher in to left-center field.

Posey is watching it.

You are watching it.

He knows it’s gone.

You know it’s gone.

Giants are up 4-3!!!

Kershaw is done for the night!

You jog around the diamond.

First, second, third, home.

You did it!!

Er, Um.

Posey did it!!

Periscope + MLB = An Experience Like This.

Make it happen.

Joey  

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The Accidental Stoic Pt. 3 - Live A Life Of Character

(If you have already read one of the other parts, you can skip the intro. I wanted to make sure all readers had the background no matter which lesson they were starting on. Enjoy!).

I love Tim Ferriss.

I love Ryan Holiday.

When you go through something traumatic you find yourself looking for answers, grasping for knowledge.

You hate the way you feel.

You don’t know what to do yet, but you know you never want to feel this way again.

But what can you do?

You allow yourself to be teachable.

Allow yourself the opportunity to learn from your mistakes so you don’t have to relive them again.

Two of the people that I turned to were: Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. They practice and preach Stoicism: the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.

In these blogs I am going to break down 5 pillars of the philosophy (Time Is Brief, Overcome Adversity, Live A Life Of Character, Self-Awareness, and Practicing Misfortune), and explain how I became one without even knowing it. What a pleasant surprise! Nothing like having a goal and realizing you are already there! 

I find the best way to allow yourself permission to be teachable is either acknowledging the desire and need to learn or finding yourself in stories about other people and applying it to your own life.

3. Live A Life Of Character:

• Recognize the power of your gestures.
• Do not compromise.
• Practice: humility, honesty, and awareness.
• Think about your thinking.
• Learn from others’ experiences.
• What do you spend most of your time on? Is it important?
• Be steadfast, strong, in control, and always learning.

“Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.” (Mat. 5:37)

This one was a bitch slap right in my face ………

If Mike Tyson was the one bitch slapping me ……

In 1988.

Not 1988 me, 1988 him.

(Why would Iron Mike bitch slap and 8-year-old?)

Yeah.

Ouch.

We all think we are good people.

If we didn’t we would change, right?

What we fail to recognize is it really doesn’t matter if you are a good person, if you do bad things. Barry Bonds is the greatest hitter of all times, but if he didn’t get a hit what would he be? Exactly, a should-have-been. That’s what we do to ourselves when we don’t live a life of character. We are should-have-beens.

They are great, but.

Without character, you are a “but” head. Just imagine Biff Tannen walking around with you all day:

“What are you doing butthead?”

“You sure you want to do that butthead?”

“Are you thinking about your family butthead?

“Are you thinking about your legacy butthead?

We operate in the shadows. If people don’t see it, it doesn’t count, right? That’s a negative Ghost Rider. It counts even more, because it means you are lacking character. You are a phony. You are a fake. You present one thing, you say one thing, then you turn around and do another. You are like a famous comedian that preaches family values, goes after other comedians publicly, then gives chicks drugs and humps them. Are those family values? We have an emergency Dr. Huxtable!

If no one knows, does it count?

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?

The answer is: FUCK YES IT DOES!!

You think it is all about you? If YOU didn’t see it? If YOU didn’t hear it? Whether you see it happen or not, the repercussions of a fallen tree will still be there: a shattered trunk, crushed trees around it, years of growth and stability gone, homes of little woodland creatures destroyed. Poor squirrels.

And what do you say? But I didn’t see it. Maybe it didn’t happen.

Go fuck yourself you jerk-off.

I am a good person. Really I am. I care about people. I hate when I hurt people’s feelings. I love my wife. I love my daughters. I love all my friends and family. But if a tree falls in the woods ……..

We spin the shitty situations we put ourselves in so we don’t have to feel bad.

If we held a mirror up to our actions, or if we let other people see the stupid shit we are doing, we would puke. Instead, we tell ourselves it’s not that bad. We don’t tell anyone the bullshit we are doing, and we keep doing it. Better than feeling bad, right? Why bring yourself down? That’s no fun.

Bring yourself down.

Trust me.

There is an unbelievable freedom in living a life of character. No secrets? The feeling of knowing you are doing everything the right way? Not just by your biased standards, but by those around you? Holy shit. It is amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! It’s freedom. It’s freedom within the freedom. Like uber freedom!! (not the app).

We all have freedom to do pretty much whatever we want. Most people choose poorly: they eat like shit, work like shit, fill their minds with shit like bad TV, bullshit web searching, porn, treating their bodies bad, and treating their relationships bad. We have all the freedom in the world, and we shackle ourselves with the decisions we make EVERY SINGLE DAY.

There are a lot of losers out there.

You may be one of them.

Are you?

I was.

You may think I am still one, but I don’t care, because I know I’m not. Why? How? Because I live a life of character. I have no secrets, I do everything with integrity, I audit my time and my interactions with people both personally and professionally, and I am grateful for everything I have. I am cool. Joe Cool. Or Joey Cool (don’t want to piss off Snoopy).

You need to audit yourself consistently to make sure you are living a life of character. Check all the time. We are creatures of habit, creatures of conditioning. You can condition yourself right in to and right out of just about anything, good or bad. If you don’t audit, you could be going off in a direction you wouldn’t or shouldn’t. Reflection is key. Evaluate perspectives. Adjust. Tweak. Get better. Be better. Consistently.

If things in your life are not the way you want, or envisioned, audit. Audit everything! Don’t have the marriage you want? Audit yourself. Messed up kids? Audit yourself. Not enough time in the day? Audit.

Not enough money? Audit! Fix you, then you can fix IT.

You may need to really sit down and evaluate who you are. You may not know. I didn’t. My wife was the first relationship that allowed me to be me. The problem was, I didn’t know who I was. I always thought relationships were the ebb and flow of who you are to keep the peace. What if you could be 100% all the time? Holy shit. New concept. Maybe that’s why they say good relationships are easy. You can just be you. That’s seems pretty easy. But what if you don’t know who you are? What if part of you is an asshole? Then you need to fix it. Audit yourself.

Once you audit, you NEVER compromise. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. When you leave a crack in the door, it’s much easier to blow right open. If you close it all the way, it stays shut. That’s where I really messed up. My no’s ended up being maybes because I left the door slightly open. I didn’t slam it shut when I should have, and it became a yes. It slowly opens, a little wider, then a little bit more, then all of a sudden, shit, it’s open, it’s a yes. Damnit. But I’m a good person! Well, not right now you aren’t.

Actions speak louder than words.

How do you live a life of character?              

I’m glad you asked.

Do what is in the best interest of you (the good you, not the selfish dickhead you), do what is best for

your family, do what is best for your friends, your company, your clients, the random person walking down the street. That’s character. That’s integrity. NEVER compromise. You will be better for it. Your loved ones will be better for it. Everything will be better! Your LIFE will be better. You can walk around with your head held high because the sunlight feels so damn good!

Shadows are cold.

Darkness is lonely.

Step out and let the rays of light warm you, energize you, and show you what the world can be, and should be.

I wish I had this knowledge 20 years ago. Instead, I learned it the hard way. You don’t have to have the same regrets I do. You can learn from my mistakes, my experiences. Change is good. Live A Life Of

Character.

Joey

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The Accidental Stoic Pt. 2 - Overcome Adversity

 

(If you have already read one of the other parts, you can skip the intro. I wanted to make sure all readers had the background no matter which lesson they were starting on. Enjoy!).

I love Tim Ferriss.

I love Ryan Holiday.

When you go through something traumatic you find yourself looking for answers, grasping for knowledge.

You hate the way you feel.

You don’t know what to do yet, but you know you never want to feel this way again.

But what can you do?

You allow yourself to be teachable.

Allow yourself the opportunity to learn from your mistakes so you don’t have to relive them again.

Two of the people that I turned to were: Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. They practice and preach Stoicism: the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.

In these blogs I am going to break down 5 pillars of the philosophy (Time Is Brief, Overcome Adversity, Living A Life Of Character, Self-Awareness, and Practicing Misfortune), and explain how I became one without even knowing it. What a pleasant surprise! Nothing like having a goal and realizing you are already there! 

I find the best way to allow yourself permission to be teachable is either acknowledging the desire and need to learn or finding yourself in stories about other people and applying it to your own life.

2. Overcome Adversity:

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Choose not to be harmed, and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Life is reactions. How you react to any and every situation will determine your place in life. Nothing can beat you if you don’t let it. The only way to lose is to give up or give in.” - Me!

• Use pain as a teacher
• Pain and difficulty build endurance and self-control
• Fear nothing, you can only be scared if you allow fear in.
• Walk out the door in the morning knowing that the world is unpredictable.
• Take the negative and use it for calm and perspective.
• Do not run from obstacles

Raise your hand if you have had some diversity in your life?

Ok. Good. That’s about everyone.

The person who didn’t raise their hand wasn’t listening. On their phone, of course.

So now that we know we are all on the same page, let’s get right in to this.

I would bet that you are where you are in life because you encountered a few obstacles along your journey.

Did you go through them?

Over them?

Under them?

Or did you turn around because the obstacle was too big?

Or at least you thought it was too big?

I believe the variable that determines success and failure is the ability to handle adversity, to overcome obstacles. The funny thing about obstacles is no matter what they are, they all feel HUGE. You are lost, you feel out of control, you question everything that got you in to that situation, you are scrambling for answers, solutions, anything. Then you either fight, or “flight.” What’s amazing is, no matter what obstacle you have faced in your life, you are here, today, reading this article, by a guy, who is also still here, after facing his obstacles. We did it! *golf clap

If we learned from those situations, those obstacles, that adversity, we are better now because of them, in some cases a lot. I am 10x the person I was before going to prison. When I walk around now, I feel like an f’ing machine. Unstoppable. Why? Because I have already been through something unbelievably traumatic (or maybe it is believable), my own complete failure and the consequences of it. I broke my own heart in to pieces and I will never let that happen again. I am constantly conditioning myself through work, nutrition, and physical activity to crush today, and annihilate tomorrow. I don’t even see obstacles any more. Why? Because I lived through: my career being destroyed, my mistake being plastered everywhere, total and utter embarrassment, having to live with my mistakes and look at my wife and daughter every day reminding me of what a sack of shit I was, and oh yeah, the hell of San Quentin. Are there a lot of people in worse situations, hell yes. A lot in better situations? Hell yes. But they were my obstacles, and all of us are stronger on the other side, no matter what we dealt with.

Once you know you can get through something, you know you can get through anything. The skill is getting in to that mode as soon as that obstacle surfaces. Don’t waste any time crying or complaining. You can’t wash away an obstacle with your tears. You can’t complain your way through a wall. You hit it, and you hit it hard. The faster you get in to that mode, the better.

Stoic philosophy stresses putting yourself in to situations where you are scared, insecure, uncomfortable, or taking the hard way, and then using those situations to show you can get through anything. This practice allows you to recognize your strength, so you can see, first-hand, your capabilities, which are enormous! Humans are amazing!! You are amazing!! Give yourself the chance to show you you can do it (a little clunky, but you know what I mean). The more obstacles you overcome, the more confident you will be in yourself to attack next one, get past it, and move on.

I know we have all learned something from our mistakes, something from the adversities we have faced. I am realistic enough to know that there are people who don’t learn shit about shit, but they probably aren’t reading this anyways. Why would they? Their either blame someone else, or run away (most likely saying they didn’t really care anyways. I’m calling bullshit).

If you put the fault of your situation on anyone but you, you a will consistently find yourself losing. Some adversity will be your individual issues, some societal. Who cares where the adversity comes from? You still need to get past it. Take the power, don’t hand it over. Stop being a pussy and fight. (A pussy cat by the way. No offense ladies!).

Job market? Just an obstacle. Figure it out, learn more, strategize, what are your strengths? Build on those. Monetize your skill-set.

Racism? It’s been around for a million years. Figure it out. If you are Black or Latino you will face racism. Duh. Your grandparents did and so did their grandparents, and it was much worse than anything you will face today. You should be able handle something you expect to happen in some capacity anyways. Focus on being great at what you do and it will work out. Choose victor, not victim. (I have a black wife by the way. Not sure if that matters, but I figured this point was a reasonable place to add that little tidbit to the article).

No money? Learn, practice, out-think it. Figure it out. Some of the greatest companies started with jack shit. If anyone can make it with no money everyone can make it with no money. Get your big boy pants on, stop making excuses.

Ex-Con? Hard time finding people to believe in you? Stop being a bitch and rewrite the narrative, out-think it, out work it, focus on the long game. Figure it out. There are 400 million people that speak English in the world. Who gives a shit if a handful of people don’t like you, or won’t give you a chance? 400 million!!! (That last one is me by the way. In case that wasn’t clear).

Kind of a side not: You ever hear people describe a situation as “ruining our lives”? Don’t get me wrong, there are some F’D situations: car accidents, murders, etc. But there are so many people that apply that same description to something small, and blame it for whatever situation they are in. Those people are called losers. Learn to recognize them, and stay away. Unless you are one, then fix it!

Every obstacle is an opportunity to make yourself better. EVERY DAMN ONE. They make you smarter, stronger, more resilient, etc. But you have to allow them, and you have to recognize those opportunities. The goal of practicing difficulty and adversity is to eliminate the idea of obstacles all together. What if you encountered an obstacle and didn’t even see it? You just pivoted, and overcame it? Walking through walls. Bullets bouncing off your chest. Becoming Superman, or Superwoman, or SuperWhatverYouIdentifyAs. You don’t need the blue tights and the cape, unless you are in to that thing. You just need your heart, your mind, and your guts. Hoorah!

You have been through a lot in your life. Guess what? You are going to be going through a lot more before this wonderful journey is over with. Be prepared. Be teachable. Be bulletproof. Let people look at you crazy as you maneuver as if nothing is wrong. You can walk by the problem as if you didn’t see it, because you shouldn’t anyways. It‘s just an opportunity for greatness, for learning. Show the world how to do it. You can be THAT person.

Either take your past and use it as fuel, or start making yourself uncomfortable, start showing yourself you can do things you never thought possible. You have no idea what you are capable of!

I consistently made it over obstacles I never thought I would see the other side of, and it started changing me.

How in the hell am I going to make it through prison? I am not the toughest guy (just being honest). I was terrified waiting in county, waiting for my “ticket” up. (To be honest I wasn’t scared about prison before the sentencing, only because everyone and their mom said there was no way I would get prison time, most likely house arrest. They were massively wrong, obviously. But I am better because of it. I made that obstacle my bitch). I was scared every single day I was in San Quentin. Every. Day. Somewhere in the back of my mind, 24-7. I was devastated, and hated myself, every single day for …….. well, I am still working on that part. It is actually my fuel to work harder, train harder, learn more, push myself to the limits and make sure that my failure was temporary. I am focused on the long game.

The conditioning of my adversities has allowed me to be unstoppable. If I can get over THAT. If I can get through THAT. There is nothing that can stop me. And nothing can stop you either if you don't let it.

Every obstacle is an opportunity. It all comes together and works together for today and tomorrow. My past taught me Accidental Stoic Lesson #2 – Overcome Adversity.

Joey

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The Accidental Stoic, Pt. 1 - Time Is Brief

I love Tim Ferriss.

I love Ryan Holiday.

When you go through something traumatic you find yourself looking for answers, grasping for knowledge.

You hate the way you feel.

You don’t know what to do yet, but you know you never want to feel this way again.

But what can you do?

You allow yourself to be teachable.

Allow yourself the opportunity to learn from your mistakes so you don’t have to relive them again.

Two of the people that I turned to were: Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. They practice and preach Stoicism: the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.

In these blogs I am going to break down 5 pillars of the philosophy (Time Is Brief, Overcoming Adversity, Living A Life Of Character, Self-Awareness, and Practicing Misfortune), and explain how I became one without even knowing it. What a pleasant surprise! Nothing like having a goal and realizing you are already there! 

I find the best way to allow yourself permission to be teachable is either acknowledging the desire and need to learn or finding yourself in stories about other people and applying it to your own life.

1. Time Is Brief:

• Don’t give small things more time than they deserve.
• Be present, don’t miss moments of connection.
• Do not live as if time is forever.
• Live life on the offense.
• Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t.
• Time is the only commodity you can’t earn back.

There is nothing like realizing the value of time once it is taken away.

It’s recognizing that the road is a dead end, but only after you are hanging off the edge.

Oops!

This is something people usually grasp as they get older. At some point you realize that you can’t go back and re-live anything. Time is the only commodity that can’t be replaced. Your kids can’t grow up again. Your parents can’t come back. You can miss moments and you can’t re-do anything, so you need to make sure you are in the right mindset to do it correctly the first time.

The hardest part about this realization is it doesn’t trickle out, giving you a chance to slowly get it, take it in a little bit at a time. It is an avalanche, a broken levy, or a flash flood. Boom! You are wiped out by the clarity of the situation, and it does not feel good. You are drowning. You don’t know which way is up, but you know you are at the bottom. Questions race through your mind so fast you can’t answer any of them. You are in a tornado of thoughts, emotions, and darkness.

I was an idiot. I risked time with my family in the future by the actions in my past. Not only did I lose time when I went to prison, I was mangling the time with them when I was doing the stuff to get put in prison!

I am a dipshit! (was)

My daughter only turned five once, and I missed it. She only graduated pre-school once, and I missed it. Only had one first day of kindergarten, and I missed that too. It won’t come back, ever. Time is fleeting. No matter how angry I get at myself. No matter how much I cry. No matter how sad I am, it is gone forever. Our lives are a series of moments that we either partake in or, poof, they’re gone. You can be in the moment today, you can make sure you are in it tomorrow, but yesterday is gone. You either wasted it, or you didn’t.

Sitting in a prison cell 23.5 hours a day really allows for the gravity and “shortness” of time to sink in.

Even if you aren’t in prison, when you recognize a mistake, you realize what’s gone, and it’s massive.  

Was that fight worth not talking to your son or daughter for years?

Did you let your ego get in the way of your relationship?

If no one knows, do you really think it won’t affect them?

While you are spending time keeping secrets over here, what are you missing out on over there?

While you are hiding secrets when you are home, do you really think you’re present?

You aren’t.

You are throwing away time.

You are the rich guy that burns his money to keep warm. Sound ridiculous?

It is! But so are you!

Time is MUCH more valuable than money!  

I understand you need to have some self-awareness to answer these questions honestly. Chances are if you can’t reflect at this point and see where you have been wasting time, even if it is just a little, you may never get it. That’s sad. Because you will eventually. It may be because your life blows up in your face (like me) or because you find yourself at the end of your life and you will realize how much of it you wasted.

And there will be nothing you can do about it.

So what do you do? You focus on the things you CAN control.

You can’t control yesterday, but you can control today, tomorrow, and every day after that. In fact, your tomorrow will be determined by what you do today. Can you wallow around in pity about yesterday? You can, but you would be wasting today, and messing up tomorrow. There are changes that need to be made and putting them off is not going to solve shit. Get up now, and do it now. The things you can’t control need to be left behind so you can spend your energies on the things you can. Let go of the small things, they hinder the attack on the big things.  

My time away haunts me every single day.

My stupid actions haunt me every single day.

But the clarity they give about what I am doing, who I am, and what I am doing every single day as I grind to create a new life is priceless. I am working 10x harder than I ever have in my life, on 10x the amount of things. I know my Twitter and Instagram look like a cluster F now, but it’s me, and it’s everything I am doing. Blogging, writing, music, marketing, designing, etc. It’s a lot, but it’s me, it’s my time, and I am not wasting a second of it.

It is all coming together, and all because of my: Accidental Stoic Lesson #1 – Time Is Brief

Joey

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Maximize Your Shareability With Snapchat's Custom Geofilters

Custom Geofilters are awesome. I think we can all agree on that. They do come with two (2) dilemmas though:

1. Where do you put them?
2. What do you design?

If you can take your product and answer these two questions, you are golden. If not, you are like me!

1. Where Do You Put Them? I wrote a book about my time at San Quentin (not as a visitor by the way, I was an idiot). My intention was to show how low a person can take themselves and then the steps to pull yourself out of the hole you dug, all while making jokes to try and deal with the severity of the situation. Uplifting, right? Right.

Soooooooo, where are people that are in to uplifting, funny, prison comedies?

Exactly.

I don’t know either.

Orange Is The New Black fans? Yes.

Prison Break fans? Yes.

People who like documentaries and people who like comedies? Yes and yes.

Well where the hell are they? Where is a place where they will be in a large group? I have no idea.

My strategy: I think this book is great (I am completely biased by the way). I think it has the potential to be another OITNB, and be something prisoners could use to help transition to the “outside”, or be a hilarious comedy by Judd Apatow with Seth Rogen playing me in it. (I swear I feel this way). So how is that going to happen? By getting people in Los Angeles and New York City to see it. Where do large amounts of people gather together, take lots of pictures, and are likely to be in the “snapper” demographic?

College graduations!

Condensed area (to keep costs at a minimum), tons of people, tons of pictures, and in a town where things get done! LA or NYC! It’s perfect! Make sure you put your “fence” around the right area. I put mine up at the Pepperdine graduation and s*** the bed, totally missed the mark. Live and learn.

I have one coming up for USC in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I have better luck with my fencing. The location was much more specific, so I don’t think there will be an issue.

That leads to the second dilmma….

2. What Do You Design?

I am, technically, a small business. Just a dude selling a book. I want to make sure my product name gets out there, so i have to be VERY strategic. I want people to see it, but more importantly I want people to use it, duh.

How usable do you make it? I think the Ad Geofilters for movies and restaurants are stupid. Why would anyone use those? Maybe as an example of what is possible, but who cares about a movie and a hamburger? I may be way off, or just too old to get the appeal of the ads. Anyways, I DO love the other filters. Half of my posts are as a dog or a bunny, or a cowboy. I think they are awesome.

So should my Geofilter fit that model instead?

Should I risk creating a Geofilter where my design takes up more space that usual?

How interactive should it be?

Here are my options. This is my real dilemma:

Option #1 — Just A Standard Filter

 

 

 

Option #2 — Greater Interaction With The Subjects, but still an ad

 

Option #3 — No Ad, but then I flood other social media with the “unhappy” face to link it

Option #4 — No Ad, even less context, but then I flood other social media with the “unhappy” face to link it

 

I am thinking about just throwing a few up there and see what works. Use one with the title and where to buy it to offset one of the other more interactive one, which has no context.

Tough decisions. With this being such a new platform to jump on, we are going to see some unbelievable things in the next few months.

I want to be at the front lines, taking the shots. I know you do too.

Hope this helps get your problem-solving juices flowing. Please let me hear any thoughts you have. The sooner we figure this out the better for all of us!

Good luck out there!

Joey

3 Stupid Snapchat Custom Geofilter Mistakes

Not that I love telling the whole world what a dumb-dumb I am, but I am pretty sure if I am making stupid mistakes, other people are as well (I hope). If I don’t share my experience, even if it is not very flattering, I am just being a dick. So here we go:

1. Know Your Time Zones: Geofilters are posted at PST (Pacific Standard Time). Pay attention to the timezone you are posting in!! I made this mistake for a posting I made in Maryland for an event Gary Vaynerchuk was speaking at (and the filter was directly to him), but I was three hours off! Was he even there to see it? I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything. So it either sucked and he ignored it, or he didn’t see it. I prefer to think he didn’t see it. It got used, it got shared, but not by him.
2. Know Your Target Zone: I made a custom filter advertising my book for the Pepperdine University graduation this weekend. I had it all planned out. Along with filters for the Dodgers game that night, and SF Union Square that day, I was running free download on Amazon Kindle. It was perfect! So much exposure to people in the markets I want to be noticed in. What could go wrong? Well, if you put the “fence” around the wrong part of campus, no one can use your damn filter! $10.85 down the drain. I looked over every picture I could find, read all the descriptions of where the ceremony would be, and I totally whiffed. I don’t know if they moved it, if the map of the campus was off, or what, but I whiffed. I was all over Twitter and Instagram to “connect the dots” and instead I was just an idiot with a frowny face superimposed over photos of Pepperdine University (you can see them all over my Instagram and Twitter page). Stupid!
3. Know Your Audience: I am on a mission to get certain people to notice me: Gary Vaynerchuk, James Altucher and Metallica. I bug GaryVee and Altucher on Instagram and Twitter (and at events with Snapchat when my dumbass puts the right time). I wanted to make something cool for Metallica. They are putting some final touches on their upcoming album and I thought a custom filter for their HQ would be rad, different, and get me noticed. Not in a, oh look at that idiot sort of way, but, oh, that’s cool, let’s call him and see if he wants to hang out with us sort of way (by the way, the answer is yes I do, for all three of you: GV, JA, and Metallica). So I built it out, launched it, and absolutely nothing happened. Zero. They didn’t even snap that day. I made something and had no idea if it would even get eyeballs on it. $5, down the drain. I did make one for their Record Store Day performance in Berkeley a few weeks later. It got used a ton, but still no call to hang out. *sigh

Those are my errors so far. Hopefully I will be writing more “how to’s” and not “how-not-to’s” in the coming months. I think this is a killer platform and I thought of a cool way for brick and mortar stores to use it in an awesome way. Hit me up on Twitter or Snapchat to find out!

Eh, f*** it, I will just tell you here: Pay people to come in to your store and snap their experience. Like a “man on the streets” sort of thing. I thought this up walking around Coscto today. I could have made a killer snap story about my trip. I mean, I would have made it WAY more interesting than it was in real life, but all the stuff in my head that I could have done were gems! Talking to people, checking out food, playing with crap, hanging out with the guys that give away freebies and demo blenders. It could have been awesome.

Take from this what you will.

Adios.

Joey

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