Are you sitting down?
Are you some place safe?
Reading this blog may cause you to pass out, falling and injuring your head, and never getting the
chance to see this come to life. And it will, come, to life.
It has to.
It’s too good not to.
I,
Joey, will be playing the part of the Millionaire Matchmaker. In this
case, I will be playing the part of the Billionaire Match Maker.
I am working for free, and I am happy to do it.
Today,
we will be attempting to combine the past and the future, in the most
spectacular, life-altering way imaginable to anyone who has ever dreamed
of being a Major League Baseball player.
Twitter and Major League Baseball are having a baby.
The combination of DNA is going to revolutionize sports viewing forever.
MLB? Technology? Say it ain’t so Joe(y)!
It’s so. In fact, this is what will bring all the old skool baseball fans in to the technological world for good.
I am even giving away the algorithm:
Periscope + Baseball Helmet = HOLY SHIT!!!
Just
to be clear, I am not a mathematician. That is not a real algorithm.
But if you didn’t know that, you are not a math person either.
I
am going to make this quick then leave you to clean the mess you will
inevitably leave in your pants. In layman’s terms, you are about to shit
your pants.
Now that we are all on the same page, imagine this:
Dodgers v. Giants - June 11, 2016, AT&T Park (I still call it Pac Bell, but I want to be respectful)
It’s the bottom of the 7th inning.
Giants are down 1-3.
It
was a clear day in San Francisco. Warm, and 79 degrees. Perfect
baseball weather in front of another sold out crowd. The fact that they
are playing against the hated Dodgers makes this beautiful, late-Spring
Saturday even better.
The
shadows have finally crept across the field, but the scoreboard still
basking in the sun, boats in the cove, freighters off in the distance.
The coastal breeze is finally picking up. A few fans have even put on their sweatshirts to fight off the slight nip in the air.
You
can see clear across The Bay this evening, to the city that is slowly
suffocating all of it’s sports teams in to leaving (nice job Oakland,
you dummies).
Kershaw has
pitched a phenomenal game. Aside from a walk in the 3rd and a solo shot
by Belt in the 5th, he’s been spectacular. 11 K’s in total, striking out
the side in the first two innings. He’s been on fire, and the home
crowd is getting restless.
But he seems to be tiring out. It is the 7th. And it is Kershaw. You either get him now, or you can count this one as an “L”.
Joe Panic starts off the bottom of the inning with opposite field single.
Then Matt Duffy squeezes a tight pitch on the inside corner in to a walk on a full count.
The Giants are in business.
Up comes the former MVP, Buster Posey. Catcher. Part-time first baseman. Toyota driver (if you believe the commercials).
This is where EVERYTHING changes my friends.
Buster has a little device in his helmet.
A camera.
And you just got a tweet on your smartphone.
Buster Posey is live on Periscope.
Holy shit.
You
click the link, and you are immediately transported. Not only to San
Francisco, California. Not only to Pac Bell (damnit, AT&T Park). Not
only to the field, but to the batter’s box.
Did you hear me?
THE BATTER’S BOX!!!!
You see what Posey sees.
Let me say that again to make sure you are listening.
YOU. SEE. WHAT. POSEY. SEES!
Posey looks down the 3rd baseline to Roberto Kelly for the sign.
You see the sign.
You don’t know what all that hand slapping, ear tugging, crotch grabbing means, but you see it.
Swing away.
You see a sweeping view of the field as he steps in to the box.
You see him digging in to the box.
It looks like YOU are digging in to the box.
You are up to bat!
For all you porn fans this is called POV (I’ve heard, not that I know).
He looks at Kershaw.
You look at Kershaw.
He shakes off a couple pitches.
He gives the nod.
Here it comes.
Are you ready?
A slow windup and WOOSH! SLAP!
The ball looked like it fell off a damn kitchen table!!
You have never seen anything like it!
Holy shit!
A Kershaw curveball! From Buster Posey’s point of view!
Holy shit!!
Ok. Breathe deep. Hooooza.
Check the 3rd base coach.
Dig in to the box.
And wait.
And wait.
Fricken Kershaw.
Posey calls time.
You see him look at the ump.
He looks around the crowd. He’s adjusting his batting gloves. He adjusts his helmet.
You see him check the sign again.
Here we go.
Dig in.
He nods “yes.”
“This is it don’t get scared now.” – Kevin McAllister.
You use the windup, and the delivery, but it is so fast, all you see is a white blur.
But you hear a CRACK!
And you see the ball climbing higher and higher in to left-center field.
Posey is watching it.
You are watching it.
He knows it’s gone.
You know it’s gone.
Giants are up 4-3!!!
Kershaw is done for the night!
You jog around the diamond.
First, second, third, home.
You did it!!
Er, Um.
Posey did it!!
Periscope + MLB = An Experience Like This.
Make it happen.
Snapchat: JustOneJoey
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