Have You Got The Minerals?

If you are not a fan of the 2001 Guy Ritchie movie, Snatch, or from England, you may have no idea what I am talking about.

Have you got the minerals?

If it was filmed in America, the question would have been, “do you have the balls?”

I think minerals is much more fitting.

If you look throughout history, the greatest triumphs have come through adversity, pressure, no win situations. We are drawn to them because the parties involved remind us of us. They are a normal person just like you and me, yet they were able to accomplish, produce, and endure so much.

How do they do it?

Could I do it?

Do I have the minerals for something great?

Just like the most precious stones, extreme situations can bring out something we didn’t even know was possible.

Common minerals, pushed, crushed, heated up, cooled down, tossed and turned, chewed up and spit out in the most unbearable situations on the planet produce some of it’s most valuable gems.

Diamonds. Pearls. Rubies. Sapphires.

What does pressure do to you?

How do you handle heat?

What do you do when you are faced with adversity? With chaos? With a situation that melts 

everything else around you?

Do you melt with it?

Or do you become something precious?

Shine Bright Like A Diamond

The most valuable natural resources on the planet are nothing but minerals.

Nothing special.

Barely worth their weight.

Maybe you feel like you are nothing special.

Maybe you feel like you are worthless.

But what if you dug deep and found out what you were really made of?

After all, precious stones aren’t anything until they are put under extreme conditions.

The pressure, the heat, and the time cause a complete meltdown of everything around them, but not them.

They have the right minerals.

Those ordinary, common, minerals become diamonds, pearls, rubies, and sapphires. Precious stones worth thousands, millions, even hundreds of millions of dollars. Used to symbolize love, show appreciation, and admire greatness. They are the minerals of kings, and the treasure of queens. The trophies of champions, and the symbols of power.

From nothing to something.

With a little help from life.

Which Mineral Are You?

A Diamond?

It starts as nothing more than an exhale. We give it away 24 hours a day, just breathing. Carbon Dioxide. That’s it. This overly abundant gas, when buried deep in the earth, heated up to 2,200 degrees, squeezed under 725,000 pounds of pressure per square inch, and then thrusted to the earth’s surface to cool, becomes a diamond.

You may think of yourself as ordinary, but what have you overcome? What are you going through now that you are going to overcome?

What does the pressure feel like? Can you take it?

Can you handle 725,000 pounds of pressure? Are you having to handle it right now?

Will you melt down, like all of the others minerals around you? Like other minerals would in your situation? Or are you ready to push to the surface, and let the world see the diamond that have become.

From carbon dioxide to the hardest and most beautiful mineral on earth.

It didn’t break you. It brushed away the ordinary and exposed the extraordinary.

Is it work? Home? Kids? Bills?

You decide how to react. You aren’t like a diamond. You are better. You decide.

What is the pressure? The heat? Is it drinking? Drugs? Gambling? Cheating?

Use it for good. Use it to make yourself better. Remember this pressure, this unbearable heat. Remind yourself of the time you were buried. It didn’t stop you.

And if you are buried right now, focus on coming to the surface. Absorb the heat and pressure, use it to build yourself up.

This is your opportunity for greatness.

This is your success story.

Don’t let it pass by, claiming that the pressure was too much. It is situations like yours that they write novels about, make movies of. Show them you can take it. You are a diamond. Shine bright.

A Pearl?

It all starts with irritation, usually a parasite. It somehow found it’s way in.

How familiar does that sound?

Not everyone can take it. In order for an oyster, mussel or clam to turn this parasite in to something spectacular, it has to be mature.

How familiar does that sound?

You starting to see the connection?

Think of all the things you couldn’t handle when you were younger that you can handle now. Things you learned to deal with, things that don’t irritate you anymore. That only comes through maturity.

Things do not develop overnight. Part of your maturity is the ability to endure over time. It takes 3 years for an irritant to become a pearl. Have you had to endure something for a long period of time? 

That takes maturity. That takes patience. The younger you couldn’t have handled it. Hell, there are people that are older than you that couldn’t handle it now! Maturity is not an age, it’s a mindset.

Are you a pearl?

Can you take that irritant, that parasite, and embrace it, cover it, endure it for years, and turn it in to a pearl?

Or are you..

A Ruby/Sapphire?

Rubies and sapphires are made exactly the same. One is red and one is blue. I know the red and blue part (obviously) but not the fact that they were created in the same process. The only difference being chromium for the red, and titanium and iron for the blue.

They go through just as much, are just as precious, but look different.

Think about that for a second.

The common belief is that rubies and sapphires were formed by tectonic plates smashing together, forcing limestone deposits deep in to the earth where the intense heat and pressure metamorphosed the limestone in to sparkly marble. Then molten granite bubbled up in to the marble and metasomatised the stone, leaving behind the gems.

Whew.

Tectonic plates?

Worlds colliding. Earthquakes. Destruction. Fire. Lava. Pushing, pulling, and burying. Then comes 

the heat, then comes the pressure, and before it cools down, even more heat.

Has your world fallen apart? Did it feel like it at least? Does it feel like it now?

Did it seem like it would never end? The pressure and heat, coming from all directions, one after the 

next?

Maybe you are a ruby.

Maybe you are a sapphire.

Please Take This Away

Bad situations are the breeding grounds for greatness.

Think of what these precious stones would be without the pressure, without the heat, they would be nothing.

If you have gone through something or are going through something, recognize what it can do for you. It can make you the hardest, most beautiful, precious gem on this planet.

Take that thing, that pressure, that irritant, that heat, and use it.

You have the minerals.

Joey

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How Do I Become More Creative?

Is there anything more important in business than creativity?

Grit?

Perseverance?

I actually think creativity is limited without grit and perseverance, and I think grit and perseverance are counterproductive without creativity. You know people that are always busy but never getting anything done? That’s a lack of creativity (and self-awareness if we are being honest, and, well, self-aware).

So here is my list of important traits to have in business (I am even ranking them):

1. Self-awareness

2. Creativity

3. Grit/Perseverance

With these three things, I guarantee you will be successful. I also guarantee if you think you have all of these things and you are not successful, you should focus on self-awareness because something is obviously off there.

Let’s focus on #2 today. I will hit the other ones in upcoming blogs.

I am a writer (obviously), but I am also a songwriter (sort of). I am going to reference those two mediums but the strategies can be applied to any and everything. It’s all about ideas, right? Finding ways to have better ideas, more frequently? This can be applied to absolutely ANYTHING: money, writing, video, podcasts, sports, bogs, management, and whatever else I didn’t mention.

Here we go.

This is the key:

Attack From All Angles

This is vital!!!

Don’t wait for inspiration, just do it, and do it often.

I used to wait for inspiration.

No songs, no stories, no nothing unless I was inspired.

Problem?

No inspiration = zero productivity.

Not the best formula, but I was an artist, I needed to be inspired (said like a hippie), until I didn’t.

Isn’t that the way it always is? Impossible until it isn’t? Remember that.

Before I wrote my book: Prison Diary(a) — A San Quentin Comedy, Kinda (on Amazon, iTunes, Audible) I was writing songs. I made a life decision to focus on things that I loved. Things I would be willing to grind at all day every day, learn about, develop my craft, and music and writing were two of those things.

But I was only writing when I was inspired.

You know what that means?

I was not writing very much.

So I decided to write every single day, whether I had an idea or not.

I still noted everything that came up sporadically (my inspired moments), when I was in the shower, when I was cleaning the house, when I was out running. I took down notes for everything, but I forced myself to sit down for 4–5 hours a day and just write something, anything.

It started out easy. I had a handful of ideas, and just focused on those. But then I ran out of ideas. The inspiration was gone. What did I have left? Riffs that went nowhere. Single lines of lyrics. And not much else.

This is where you become creative.

This is how you become creative.

When you are out of ideas, and you need to actually create.

You are stretching your brain.

You are pushing beyond your limits.

It’s painful.

It’s scary.

But it’s how you grow.

And it’s how you get better.

This is the best position to be in.

I was forced to find new ways to write. I forced myself to force myself. Make sense? Strain your brain! That should be the slogan for this article: Strain Your Brian.

I as forced to write songs with music and no lyrics. I was forced to write a songs with lyrics and no music. I had melodies and nothing else. I even had to start songs with nothing. I played a chord, found a note I wanted to start the melody with, and went from there. Completely from scratch.

Know what happened? I started getting more ideas. I had more riffs, more melodies, more lyrics, and when I sat down, because I had practiced “squeezing blood from a rock,” I wasn’t blocking the creative process with anxiety. It took time, but it was awesome.

That is when I really started seeing gains in my abilities. I would start the day with nothing but a G chord, and finish the day with a whole song, great melody, and written about a topic that wasn’t even on my radar.

You know what that feels like?

Like an out-of-body experience. Like magic. It’s fantastic.

It is the same thing with writing. I write about things I know a lot about. I write about things I know nothing about and need to research. I write personal pieces. I write sports. I look at what I need to practice and I start writing about that. I need to work on writing stories based on interviews, so I took on writing a blog for Chase Jarvis’ 30 Days Of Genius series. I was sh***ing my pants yesterday. Why? Because I have never written anything from an interview, and I was doing it for Chase F’ing Jarvis! I was nervous. But I will keep writing, I will get better, and then I will have another way to “attack.”

The more avenues of attack, the easier it is to conquer.

Boo-ya!!

This can be applied to anything. You look for the different angles. You don’t allow for a cookie cutter approach. Any football fans out there? The Patriots are constantly looking at different angles to attack. That’s why they have been successful for so long. You have an idea of what they are going to do, but you aren’t positive. They can attack you from so many different angles.

Entrepreneurs out there? Look at Mark Cuban. He advises cookie companies!! The tech billionaire? Advising cookie companies? WTF? He is able to do that because he looks at all angles of business. He constantly develops his craft by taking on new challenges, and scanning for new opportunities. Because of that, when one of his companies (even if it’s a cookie company) needs a shift in strategy, he can analyze and strategies efficiently and effectively.

That’s what you need to do. Understand all the routes. Know the ins and outs. It will make you more versatile, which will make you more successful. You will have opportunities to make something work that a less creative person will miss, because you have more strategies.

Just Do It

This is not a Nike slogan. I mean it is, but I am not using it like one. Unless they want to sponsor me, then I will use the s*** out of it. Just saying. I love the state of Oregon.

The best way to become more creative is to just do it. It’s practice. The first time you create something or figure something out out of thin air, it will feel like magic. You will have stretched your brain to it’s capacity, and in that moment of “something from nothing” you will truly become creative, an artist in your craft. It is at that moment where everything changes for you, then you just keep going. You have developed a new neural pathway. One that you can come back to later. One you didn’t have before. A new angle. A new strategy. Greater creativity.

Attack from all angles, then all of those avenues become a part of your repertoire, and you become a creative machine. Like James Altucher says, an idea machine. Flex those muscles. Pump that iron. Hans and Franz time for your brain.

Health

I will make this brief, but I have to put it in here. The healthier you are, the better your body works, the better your brain works. The less inflamed, the less crap is running through your system, the more energy you will have, the clearer your thinking, the better your output will be. Are there people who are extremely creative and totally unhealthy? Yes. But imagine what they would be if they actually took care of themselves?

What are they leaving on the table?

What are you leaving on the table?

What could you be?

Think about that.

If you truly care about your craft, your business, your productivity, you will take care of your mind and body, because that is what gets it done. Help you, help you. Does that make sense? Because it seems a little shaky…… and I wrote it. But it’s the most concise way to put it.

Let’s See What You Can Do

Put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Stretch your brain. Create new pathways of problem solving. It will be hard. It will be frustrating at times. And then it will be awesome.

Good luck.

Joey

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Tips For New Parents?

Hindsight is 20–20.

I hate it, but it’s true.

I wish foresight was 20–20 and hindsight was blind as a bat, but that is not the way it works. We usually overthink the past and under-think the future.

Hopefully for all of you new parents or soon-to-be-parents, this can help you avoid some issues you may not even be thinking about.

Crib, diapers, clothing, food, pumps, wipes, etc.

These are the things we focus on when we have a child.

Hopefully you are also asking yourself “Am I going to be a good parent?” and “What steps am I going to take to be a good parent?”

If not, now is the time to start.

The Goal Of Parenting

Your child should walk out the door at 18 and be filled with: confidence, self-awareness, grit, problem-solving skills and humility. If they aren’t, it is your fault. Sorry, but it is. If your child is a bum, it is your fault in some capacity. If you are a parent of an older child, and they are a loser, it’s your fault. I’m sorry. Just speaking the truth.

My youngest daughter is 7. If she is a loser, or a stripper, or whatever else I would never want her to be, it’s my fault.

My oldest is almost 25. And although I wasn’t in her life until she was 16, if she is a loser, I am a failure (or I could be a dick and blame my wife and her dad J, but they are both awesome, so I won’t….maybe).

Guiding Your Child

This is either a one step or a two-step approach.

1. One Step Approach: You are not perfect. Some of you are more obviously-not-perfect than others. Whatever your level of non-perfection is, your child has some of that non-perfection as well. It is your job to give them the skills to mitigate those imperfections so they don’t make their life more difficult than it needs to be.

What are you thinking right now? Kids are hardheaded? They are going to do what they want? Well then my friend, you or your partner are/were the same way and it is your job to work around that.

Being a parent is being flexible. There is not a handbook to follow because people are different, kids are all different, and they respond to different things. But you are your child’s parent, they have your genes, they have your partner’s genes, and you should know yourself well enough to help them navigate potential pitfalls and issues. If not….

2. The Two Step Approach: You will need to do this before you do the one step approach. This is fairly simple: Figure Your BS Out!

That’s it! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!! Yay!!

Just kidding, this is not easy at all. It is simple, but not easy. Ah, such is life.

What is wrong with you?

What do you suck at?

Are you a bad listener?

Are you lazy?

Are you unhealthy?

Are you fat?

Do you drink too much?

Drugs?

Cheat?

Are you a liar?

What’s your problem(s)?

See what I mean? This part sucks, but it is vital to your child being everything you want them to be. The good news is, if you want your kid to be a piece of shit, then you are probably a piece of shit, and you can just keep doing what you are doing. Nice work.

Kids see and hear everything. They take it all in. You can’t hide things from kids. They can feel it and sense it. They are more in tune with themselves than we are as adults because they just feel, they don’t over or under analyze. They see you drink. They see you lie. They see you be mean to their mother. They see you get angry, get sad, they see it all.

How Do You Fix Yourself?

I would suggest that you go see a therapist. Honestly speaking, if you haven’t figured your shit out yet, why would you be able to “flip the switch” and figure it out by yourself now?

A therapist will help you honestly navigate through your emotions and your actions to help you be a better you, a better partner, and a better parent. I suggest you find a therapist that specializes in behavioral modification or cognitive behavioral therapy. If you are in the Bay Area and want a suggestion please message me and I will give you the name of an amazing therapist. I mean UH-MAZING.

I went to a different therapist for a few months before switching to the amazing one. He was focused on my past and why/how that led to behaviors in the present. It was a bunch of hooey. It’s like he was looking for something to pin my stupidity on rather than just me being stupid. He was making mountains out of molehills. Totally worthless. I got more out of one session with the good one than 2 months of sessions with the bad one. Unless they are helping you change, get out of there. CBT is the way to go. Not the Betty Draper crap.

Once you figure out your garbage you can help your child navigate through their garbage. Now you are parenting. You can help them avoid the pitfalls that you fell in to.

It’s that what it is all about?

Reading Suggestions

These three books are f’ing awesome. I recommend them to everyone, but especially new parents. 

The mindset that these books will put you in as a teacher, and that’s what you are as a parent, a 

teacher, is phenomenal. Some stuff will seem obvious, but if you can reflect on your upbringing, and how you are raising your child, these books are priceless.

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Grit by Angela Duckworth

The Art Of Learning by Josh Waitzkin

And if you want to read what it’s like to totally mess up, but then get passed it, you can always read my book! Prison Diary(a) — A San Quentin Comedy, Kinda.

Thoughts

You only have one life. You only have one chance to give your child everything. Don’t take it for granted. It is never too late to start being a good parent, changing the narrative on your past, but it is much easier to never make the mistake in the first place. I hope you have the foresight to recognize that and take the steps necessary to give something amazing a chance to be spectacular.

“A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from others’ mistakes.”

Joey

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The Internet, Marriage, and Slavery

I was listening to a Gary Vaynerchuck (@TheAskGaryVeeBook), folding laundry a room away from the most amazing woman I have ever met, my wife, and it hit me: the world, the perfect marriage and freed slaves are exactly the same.

I know what you’re thinking, who hasn’t thought that?

Follow me anyways smarty pants.

This is the greatest time to be alive in the history of times to be alive.

We are in it.

This is why.  

1. We have access to every single bit of information we would ever need to do anything we ever wanted.
2. We have the freedom to take that information and do whatever we want.
3. We can be whomever want, however we want, wherever we want.  

Sounds pretty damn good, huh?

We have never had as much freedom as we do now. Ever.

We are free, and I mean FREE!

We have been told amazing stories of freedom our entire lives. Breaking the chains. Perseverance. Grit. Tenacity. They are so empowering. They make us feel that we can do anything.

We have been fighting for freedom our entire lives.

Year after year, decade and decade, pushing for more.

The fight is over.

The day has finally come.

We are free at last!! We did it!!!

We have the freedom we have always wanted.

Realistically, the only thing stopping you from doing anything and everything today is access to the internet.

That’s it.

Everything you need as far as information is right there. You can choose to take it or not, but you cannot deny it’s there.

Everything we have been fighting for has come to fruition.

We should celebrate!! Where’s the Champaign? Break out the good stuff!! The Barefoot!!!

And what are we doing with it?

All the freedom we could have every asked for?

All the freedom in the world (especially in the US).

We decided to give it back.

It is right there for the taking, and we are GIVING. IT. BACK.

Why in the hell would anyone do that?

Becuase,

We have no idea who the hell we are.

We have no idea what we are capable of.

And it is just easier to follow, be told what to do, and smile.

It is just like January 1st, 1863.

We have just been freed from slavery (I am a white male, please stay with me here).

Our shackles have been removed.

The gate is wide open.

The entire world is right in front of us.

And we turn around.

We pick up a shovel.

And we choose to stay.

We are not slaves anymore, we are worse.

We are indentured servants.

We have been given freedom and we are choosing to have a master. Choosing the chains. Choosing a life that someone else controls, someone else dictates.

We have no idea what we are capable of, and I don’t know if we even care.

We all want freedom, it’s what we have been chanting for centuries. It’s what we are chanting right now in 2016 in the election. Freedom from debt, freedom for the shrinking middle class, freedom from college loans, freedom from big government, freedom from small government, whatever.

Freedom.

But what does that mean? Freedom. How can “you” be free if you don’t know who “you” are?

Here is a little story.

My relationship with my wife is amazing.

She is loving, caring, thoughtful, smart, and wise.

She believes in me and has believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

She allows me to be Me. The real Me. Not the Me I think she wants me to be. Not the Me I think other people want me to be. The real me. This was liberating. This was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

There was only one downside, I had no idea who the hell the real me was. I never really asked myself,

“Who am I?”

I knew I liked music. I liked sports. I was funny. Sometimes I was smart, sometimes I was stupid. That

was pretty much it. I was nice? I guess. That’s about as far as it went.

There were certain things I wouldn’t do or say around certain friends. There were certain things I wouldn’t say to ex-girlfriends. Things I wouldn’t say or do at work, etc. I was a constant ebb and flow of Me throughout my day, my week, and consequently my life.

I never allowed myself the chance to sit down and figure “me” out. I never even thought about it. I would do things and say to myself, “why in the hell did I do that? That is not even something I really want to do.”

Because I didn’t know myself, I mean really know myself, I could be swayed.

You know people who do that. “I would never!!!” either right before or right after they did something just like it.

My whole life was a path that I was on. I never even asked if I wanted to be on it. School, college, work, wife, etc. I was on it. There weren’t any questions to ask. Where you going? That way!

But really, when you do not have a solid understanding of you, what your purpose is, what your goals are; if you have no destination, then what does it matter what road you’re on? Are you even on a road really? If feels like it, but really….

“Where we goin’?”

“Who knows? I’m just gonna keep drivin’!”

“Right on!”

That’s what we do.

We have access to everything and (as a whole) we choose to do nothing. We have jobs where we just want people to tell us what to do then we get upset when that job goes to someone else who will just do what they are told for less money. You’re good at taking directions? So are computers. Your job is only going to be around long enough to get the program developed. Then it’s adios Gladys time!

We want paths. We want the college, job, marriage, retirement, death path to be there. That is, after all, how things get done, right? That’s what life is. We don’t want to think about what we do, we just want to do. We say we don’t, but it is all around us. We smoke our whole lives then get mad at big tobacco for selling a stick on fire that is not good for us when we inhale the smoke. “They should have told me!!!” We eat like shit our whole lives then are mad when we don’t have the right medical coverage to pay for our diabetes medication. “How could they!!?!” How could you?

When we are free to do what we want we put the chains right back on.

Freedom for anything we want to eat? We are fatter than ever.

Freedom to watch anything we want on TV? One word, Kardashians.

Freedom to learn anything we want, anytime? US students are ranked at the bottom. “But that’s the teachers’ fault!!!” See, you are doing it already. Teach your damn kids something!! You are free!!! Use it.

Make them put down their iLifes and turn off the TV where you are watching bullshit all night every night.

Everything you do and have is a choice that you have made. You blame every one else because you don't want to admit that YOU are the asshole.

We have so much freedom and we just give it away.

Shit? Where is my shovel?

Let me turn my brain off so I don’t have to go through the trouble of actually thinking.

Mr. Trump, what should I be worried about? Muslims, my job, and Mexicans. Got it. I haven’t actually ever had any issues with Muslims, but I did watch 9/11 on TV, so I should be mad, you are right. I will worry about my job too. I will only put in a half ass effort and not see the writing on the wall when my skills were becoming more and more obsolete, but I still won’t do anything. Make my skills useful again Mr. Trump!!

We are idiots.

All of us. Right Wing, Left Wing, Chicken Wing. Everyone.

Stop looking elsewhere for your power. You have EVERYTHING at your fingertips. Knowledge, health, jobs, opportunities. They are just sitting there!! Stop binge watching, binge drinking, and binge eating.

Start binge doing.

As soon as you start looking to someone or something else to provide for you, you are picking up that shovel, turning around, and staying.

You are telling everyone, “I would rather be a slave thank you very much.”

Go for it.

I would rather use my freedom.

It looks like it’s time for you to go back in the yard, be told you can’t do it yourself, and believe it.

Order Prison Diary(a): A San Quentin Comedy, Kinda TODAY!!!
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