Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Generation Why Not?


Access in America has never been more readily available than it is right now.

You can pretty much do whatever you want whenever you want it.

Write a book?

Make a movie?

Be a photographer?

Singer-songwriter?

Start a business?

Whatever!

Can you think of any legitimate obstacle to doing any of those things that doesn’t make you sound like a total puss?

I sort of lead you to the answer no, but you would have gotten there anyways, I am sure of it.

Some of you are naysayers. You will come up with some totally rare or over exaggerated scenario as to why someone, somewhere, wouldn’t be able to do it, but I am talking in generalities. If you are reading this at all, you either have a phone or computer, or access to one, which means you can do it too.

All of the information you need is at your fingertips, and all the tools you need to create just about anything you want to do is also at said fingertips. Even better, it’s in the same place you got the information from.

Your phone, computer or tablet.

Can you feel the excuses slipping away from you? I hope so.

The Why Generation

I think this the wrong name.

It generates a feeling that they don’t care.

Why should I do this? Why should I do that?

What is really happening is they are, or will be asking, why not?

Why can’t I do this?

Why can’t I do that?

Why do we have to do it that way?

Why can’t we try something different?

It’s not The Why Generation.

It’s The Why Not Generation.

The Fault In Their Stars

The issues that they will face will be the same ones that each of us are facing in this ever-expanding, ever-informing, atom bomb of access to everything you could ever want access to, and all of those things having access to you: self slavery.

We can eat anything we want.

We can read, watch, and consume anything we want.

What have we done with that freedom?

We are fatter than ever, more diabetes than ever, more dependent on the government than ever, and taking less responsibility than ever. On top of all this mess, there is a YUGE population in America that think Donald Trump is the answer to their perceived problems with the economy, their jobs, and their government.

Mr. Grab Them In The Pussy himself.

We are idiots.

Collectively.

Not you, specifically.

Us.

The Longer The Rope The Tighter The Noose

This is the time in history where we need to be more self-aware than ever. More disciplined than ever. More willing to ask ourselves the tough questions and make the changes necessary to max out our potential, than ever. We are a pathetic fraction of what we could be. There is always room for improvement, but so many of us are willing to hover around the 50% (if not lower) mark.

Other questions Generation Why Not needs to ask themselves is: How can this be better? Am I doing my best? Am I putting in the work? Am I in this for the right reasons? Is this the job for me? What are my strengths? (and more importantly) what are my weaknesses? And many, many more.

If they don’t ask themselves those questions, the rope will just get tighter and tighter. They will put themselves in situations they shouldn’t be in, with people they shouldn’t be in them with, and it could prove disastrous.

Don’t just be the “why?” generation.

Be the: Why not? How? When? Where? Which? Who? Generation.

We go as you go.

We are tomorrow as you are today.

Why not?

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Tips For New Parents?


Hindsight is 20–20.

I hate it, but it’s true.

I wish foresight was 20–20 and hindsight was blind as a bat, but that is not the way it works. We usually overthink the past and under-think the future.

Hopefully for all of you new parents or soon-to-be-parents, this can help you avoid some issues you may not even be thinking about.

Crib, diapers, clothing, food, pumps, wipes, etc.

These are the things we focus on when we have a child.

Hopefully you are also asking yourself “Am I going to be a good parent?” and “What steps am I going to take to be a good parent?”

If not, now is the time to start.

The Goal Of Parenting

Your child should walk out the door at 18 and be filled with: confidence, self-awareness, grit, problem-solving skills and humility. If they aren’t, it is your fault. Sorry, but it is. If your child is a bum, it is your fault in some capacity. If you are a parent of an older child, and they are a loser, it’s your fault. I’m sorry. Just speaking the truth.

My youngest daughter is 7. If she is a loser, or a stripper, or whatever else I would never want her to be, it’s my fault.

My oldest is almost 25. And although I wasn’t in her life until she was 16, if she is a loser, I am a failure (or I could be a dick and blame my wife and her dad J, but they are both awesome, so I won’t….maybe).

Guiding Your Child

This is either a one step or a two-step approach.

1. One Step Approach: You are not perfect. Some of you are more obviously-not-perfect than others. Whatever your level of non-perfection is, your child has some of that non-perfection as well. It is your job to give them the skills to mitigate those imperfections so they don’t make their life more difficult than it needs to be.

What are you thinking right now? Kids are hardheaded? They are going to do what they want? Well then my friend, you or your partner are/were the same way and it is your job to work around that.
Being a parent is being flexible. There is not a handbook to follow because people are different, kids are all different, and they respond to different things. But you are your child’s parent, they have your genes, they have your partner’s genes, and you should know yourself well enough to help them navigate potential pitfalls and issues. If not….

2. The Two Step Approach: You will need to do this before you do the one step approach. This is fairly simple: Figure Your BS Out!

That’s it! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!! Yay!!

Just kidding, this is not easy at all. It is simple, but not easy. Ah, such is life.

What is wrong with you?

What do you suck at?

Are you a bad listener?

Are you lazy?

Are you unhealthy?

Are you fat?

Do you drink too much?

Drugs?

Cheat?

Are you a liar?

What’s your problem(s)?

See what I mean? This part sucks, but it is vital to your child being everything you want them to be. The good news is, if you want your kid to be a piece of shit, then you are probably a piece of shit, and you can just keep doing what you are doing. Nice work.

Kids see and hear everything. They take it all in. You can’t hide things from kids. They can feel it and sense it. They are more in tune with themselves than we are as adults because they just feel, they don’t over or under analyze. They see you drink. They see you lie. They see you be mean to their mother. They see you get angry, get sad, they see it all.

How Do You Fix Yourself?

I would suggest that you go see a therapist. Honestly speaking, if you haven’t figured your shit out yet, why would you be able to “flip the switch” and figure it out by yourself now?

A therapist will help you honestly navigate through your emotions and your actions to help you be a better you, a better partner, and a better parent. I suggest you find a therapist that specializes in behavioral modification or cognitive behavioral therapy. If you are in the Bay Area and want a suggestion please message me and I will give you the name of an amazing therapist. I mean UH-MAZING.

I went to a different therapist for a few months before switching to the amazing one. He was focused on my past and why/how that led to behaviors in the present. It was a bunch of hooey. It’s like he was looking for something to pin my stupidity on rather than just me being stupid. He was making mountains out of molehills. Totally worthless. I got more out of one session with the good one than 2 months of sessions with the bad one. Unless they are helping you change, get out of there. CBT is the way to go. Not the Betty Draper crap.

Once you figure out your garbage you can help your child navigate through their garbage. Now you are parenting. You can help them avoid the pitfalls that you fell in to.

It’s that what it is all about?

Reading Suggestions

These three books are f’ing awesome. I recommend them to everyone, but especially new parents. 

The mindset that these books will put you in as a teacher, and that’s what you are as a parent, a 
teacher, is phenomenal. Some stuff will seem obvious, but if you can reflect on your upbringing, and how you are raising your child, these books are priceless.




And if you want to read what it’s like to totally mess up, but then get passed it, you can always read my book! Prison Diary(a) — A San Quentin Comedy, Kinda.

Thoughts

You only have one life. You only have one chance to give your child everything. Don’t take it for granted. It is never too late to start being a good parent, changing the narrative on your past, but it is much easier to never make the mistake in the first place. I hope you have the foresight to recognize that and take the steps necessary to give something amazing a chance to be spectacular.

“A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from others’ mistakes.”