This song was written from the perspective of someone who has completely f***ed up.
I mean, disaster kind of f****ed up, and the thoughts that go on in their head.
Ground Zero
This
is not a good place to be. Everything is coming down on your head. You
are being buried by whatever it is that you have done and its
consequences. If you are self-aware enough to recognize it is ALL your
fault, this is about as low as you can get.
I
couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. My own reflection made me sick.
Having to look at that stupid f***, that piece of s***. I couldn’t do
it. I shaved my head. I shaved my face. I didn’t want to look anything
like that loser in his mugshot. Nothing.
I
still don’t like looking at pictures of that time, 6 years later. I
know what that jackoff is about to go through. I know what that jackoff
is doing around that time to go through the s*** he is about to go
through. I hate him.
The
good this is I don’t even recognize that person anymore. That was a
lifetime ago, but it still hurts, and I still despise him with every
ounce of passion I can muster. He is dead to me.
Breaking
your own heart is hard, because you can’t escape yourself. I mean you
can, and those thoughts absolutely crossed my mind, but that would just
make it worse. Tim Ferriss puts it very well. If you are able to take
whatever it is you are feeling at your lowest point, times that by 10,
and give it to everyone of your friends and family, that is suicide. I
had already put my family and friends in a s*** position, killing myself
would only make that worse. I didn’t want that. The pain I inflicted on
my parents, my wife, my daughters? Brought down by my selfishness? Only
to be amplified by even more selfishness? Running away from the
consequences of my actions? I couldn’t do it. I wanted to. But I
couldn’t do it.
The Power Of Love
Huey Lewis put it best.
Actually, I can’t remember any of the lyrics to the song, but the title says it perfectly: the power of love.
The
love of my family and friends allowed me to overcome the biggest
obstacle (self-inflicted) that I will ever face in my life. The power of
love. My mom said, “We will get through this.”
We.
Us.
Together.
Love
allowed my problem to be her problem, my dad’s problem, my grandma’s
problem, etc. Love brought us together. Their love for me dragged them
down, and it would be their love that pulled me up. The power of love,
is a curious thing (I did remember some lyrics!).
I mean it when I say in the song:
“The only reason I am standing here, is you’re the biggest piece of everything that I am.”
Redemption
After
you get past whatever it is you are getting past, you can relate to a
whole new group of people. You know what it’s like to be devastated. You
know what it’s like to bring down everyone around you. The pain you can
cause, how it looks, how it feels. You know all of that now.
What do you do with it?
You
tell people about it. Tell people how you made it through, in the hopes
that they will be able to make it through themselves.
Suicide is horrible.
Unimaginable
to the person committing it. Being that low. Having no hope. Willing to
hurt their family, and friends. Hurt their community. The fragility.
The brokenness.
The
feelings of their family and friends. Where did they go wrong? What
should they have said? Feeling the pain that their loved one must have
felt, and taking it on themselves.
It is complete devastation.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Do
everything you can to let the person you love know they will make it
through. You know why? Because they are still here. The only way you
can’t make it is if you are dead. Humans are resilient.
Making it
through some of the biggest disasters in history. Self–inflicted or not.
And we ain’t dead yet.
Just remember:
“Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future”
I know you’re feeling like you life is over
can’t imagine getting any colder
realizing that you hit the bottom once again
just when you feel like that you’re getting something
where you’re standing started slowly crumbling
yesterday appears and pulls you under
once again
and it’s so hard to breathe,
without you here with me
you can hardly stand your own reflection
you’re caving in with everything that happened
everything that’s ever good you smashed it once again
the suffocation of the world surrounds you
should you fight or let the world consume you?
no way out when all the dark surrounds you once again
and its so hard to breathe,
without you here with me
Chorus
the only reason that I’m standing here
is you’re the biggest piece of everything that i am
and even if it takes a thousand years,
I’ll make up every second of the pain that i gave
cause it’s my on;y chance to breathe,
is you here with me
now you feel like you are starting over
feel the warmth now that the night is over
shadows creep away and leave you stronger than before
every saint has got a past there somewhere
and every sinner has a future out there
it doesn’t have to be the same as it was once before
and it’s so hard to breathe,
without you here with me
Chorus
the only reason that I’m standing here
is you’re the biggest piece of everything that i am
and even if it takes a thousand years,
I’ll make up every second of the pain that i gave
cause it’s my on;y chance to breathe,
is you here with me
No comments:
Post a Comment