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He was my buddy.

I can’t think of a better way to describe our relationship.

He was my uncle, but he was my buddy.

Was.

What a shitty word.

My buddy passed away today.

Exactly 365 days ago we were hanging out in my front yard, watching fireworks, drinking beer, and smoking Baccarat cigars.

Today, I got a call from my mom telling me that my buddy was gone. Her big brother, and my uncle. 

Much too soon. But isn’t it always? Is it ever the right time? He wasn’t old, but what if he was? Would it have been the right time then? I don’t know, but it would have felt better, maybe.

Memories are racing through my brain.

Florida, 1985.

Hollister, 1988.

Middle of nowhere California in your truck, 1991.

My front yard, one year ago today.

You had the worst and the coolest job in the world, long haul truck driver. Sitting all day? Moving people’s furniture? That sounded awful.

Seeing every inch of the USA in your almost 67 years? Amazing.

You saw parts of this country I will never see. I admired you for that.

You were such a hard worker.

You were such a loving man.

You were The Hulk.

You gave me noogies.

No matter how old I got, or how old you got for that matter, you always let me know you would kick my ass.

We had a lifetime together. Well, mine anyways.

I don’t know if many people have relationships with their uncles like we had. I hope they do. An uncle and a buddy. It is a very special thing. You can’t have that kind of relationship with many people. We were able to get to a level where we would have been friends even without the family ties.

Fuck.

I am going to miss you.

Fuck.

I miss you already.

Standing in the same spot as last year. Looking at the same fireworks. But with no Uncle. I know you wouldn’t have been here anyways. You would have been driving across Mississippi, but it felt like there was a hole in the earth next to me tonight.

There is nothing I wish I had said to you. It isn’t like that. You knew I loved you. You knew how much I valued the man you were, the uncle you were.

My daughters loved you.

My wife loved you.

It was hard not to.

But you were a maniac on FB. So harsh, but I knew the real you. You were a teddy bear. But no left wing Democrat would EVER know that. It was hilarious reading your posts. I am not even sure maniac is the right word, but social media brings out different aspects of our personalities. They may not have known you, but I did. You weren’t that guy. You loved as well as anyone I know. You cared as much as anyone I ever met. Your heart was huge and your affection was pure.

I hope you went happy.

I hope the road was the perfect spot to send you off.

I hope you are up in heaven, out on a boat, smoking cigars, listening to some crazy, conservative talk 

show host, and you are happy.

I can’t believe I am writing this. I can’t believe you’re gone.

You made my world a better place. I loved every phone call, every visit.

I am going to your favorite San Jose cigar store, buying a couple Baccarats, thinking about my buddy, and smiling.

I love you Uncle Jon.

Goodbye.

Joey