When you embrace yourself.
When you love yourself.
The things that used to haunt you, can fuel you.
The issues that used to scare you, will ignite you.
Your weaknesses become your strengths.
You
are no longer a victim. You don’t have a “thing.” You are you and it is
a part of you, and you feel good about that. Because you love yourself.
All the cracks, all the character, all the “faults.”
If you have ADHD, you need to love ADHD.
I think everyone should want to have ADHD.
Do you realize the power you have in your mind when you have ADHD?
People
talk about it like it is a weakness, I think it is an absolute
strength. I couldn’t get half the amount of work done without it. With
ADHD, I never run out of ideas, or plans, or executions of those plans.
It is like having a superpower.
But
I embrace it. I nurture it. I make sure my superpower is used for good
and not evil. I am Thor, not Loki. I am Iron Man, not Whiplash. I am
Bruce Banner. I am the good Hulk.
Can it go bad? Hell yes. But I don’t let it.
I feed the good. I choke the bad.
But I know. I embrace. I love.
What Is The Biggest Danger Of ADHD?
Structure.
How can something stable be a bad thing?
Because if you are not putting up the right structures, you are f***ing yourself.
With
ADHD, structure is inevitable. It’s the type of structure that counts.
You put the structures in place, whether you realize it or not.
Type #1 — Social Structure
Jobs,
relationships, etc. These can be healthy, if you are in the right
mindset. If you are in a shitty relationship or/and a shitty job, that’s
a red flag that you are not in the correct mindset. You are giving away
control instead of taking it. ADHD doesn’t work like that. If you don’t
control it, it will control you.
Relationships:
Think of the people in your life (or yourself, if that’s why you are
reading this). There are some that always seem to be in relationships.
They bounce from one to the other. The relationships are decent. Some
last longer than others. When they break up, boom, right back in a
different one. Now, if you don’t have ADHD, this can be construed as an
insecurity response. Always needing someone there. Someone to care for
them. Someone to care for. If you have ADHD, a relationship is
structure. It forces a boundary in your life. If you are not cognizant
of your ADHD, then you are most likely blowing though those boundaries,
living a double life. You are one person at home, and a totally
different person when you are out with your friends. From the outside,
you look single, but you aren’t. You make sure you aren’t single because
relationships give you a sense of structure. It can’t be a
free-for-all, at least all the time. And that is comforting to you
because God knows what you would be like with ZERO boundaries. It even
worries you. Good thing you have it under control. If you can handle a
relationship, you must be ok. Please ignore all the stupid shit I am
doing. I am in a relationship. Things are good.
School:
If someone tells you were to go, you don’t have to worry about your
direction. The problem is, you are heading in someone else’s direction.
Like a lot of people once they graduate from college, you are smacked in
the face with, “oh, shit. What the hell do I do now?” Why do you feel
this way? Because you were doing what everyone else was telling you
without putting any thought in to it yourself. Once you start putting
thought in to it, either right before or right after graduation, it’s
not exactly too late, it’s never too late, but it will still hit you
like a ton of bricks. You will be putting your rented cap and gown back
in to the bin on your way out to a celebratory dinner with your family
and it will feel like you are floating through the clouds. You’re happy,
and you should be happy, you just graduated, but you are terrified
because the world is a huge place and you just got released in to the
wild. No more structure, no more paths, unless you want it (but that’s
only because you are scared).
So what do you do? You go find something
else to structure you.
Jobs:
Maybe it’s a job. You don’t like your job. You want to leave. You want
to do something else, but you need that job. It gives you structure.
What would you do on your own? If you have ADHD, and you aren’t feeding
the good and choking the bad, you are probably not a great employee. I
personally hate being told what to do. I have a ton of ideas on how to
improve things and someone dictating my actions feels like you are
pulling my toe nails out. I hate it. I shut down. Before I recognized I
had ADHD, I just built a “work” fence around me and kept my head down.
Little did I know that ignoring it wouldn’t make it go away. Just like
any problem. Burying it is a poor strategy.
Type #2 — Outside Control
The easiest way to put this is: Self-medication and punishment.
Self-Medication:
Are you a doctor? No. Well, maybe you are. If you have ADHD you know
that your mind spins a mile a minute. This can be great or horrible.
Again. If you are in control, it is a blessing, if you are not, it is a
curse. The great thing is you decide. Like Colin Cowherd (@ColinCowherd)
It’s a ‘YOU” problem. When people with ADHD have no structure, or the
structures they put in place (relationships, jobs) don’t calm the
overactive brain, they medicate. It could be anything: alcohol, weed,
meth, crank, pills, heroin, anything. Whatever works will work for them.
As long as their brain slows down, gives them a rest, it is ok. No one
goes in to life thinking that they will be a drug addict or alcoholic,
but that doesn’t keep them from becoming one. You either control the
ADHD or it controls you. It needs structure. You can either give it, or
it will take it. It’s your choice.
Punishment:
This sounds crazy, but some people actually like being in jail or
prison. Crazy, huh? They don’t want to be out. They LOVE the structure.
They tell you when to eat, when to sleep, when to work, and when to
shit. It’s perfect for them. Their brains can relax because the choices
aren’t endless. It I not wide open to do anything to day. No matter what
you want, you will wake up when they unlock lock the doors, when they
sound the “chow” alarm, you will eat what they serve you (or what you
buy from canteen) and you will get to be outside the whatever time they
allow you. You have two choices on a good day: outside or inside? And no
choices on a bad day: no yard. It’s perfect! They don’t even have to
think. They remember what it’s like out on the “streets.” They were
controlled by drugs, bad relationships, anger, jealousy, envy. In here?
There are ZERO real world problems. Maybe you get in a fight? Maybe you
don’t eat the food that is unrecognizable on your plate? Whatevs. Who
cares? They have structure now. They feel safe not having power. They
don’t want power. They give it away freely. They don’t care who takes it
as long as it’s not on them anymore. Drugs? Gangs? Fights? They say,
“who cares? I can’t handle it.”
Type #3 — Total Ownership
This
is where you want to be. You want to be able to not only embrace, but
love your ADHD. This will feel like coming home. It is scary, and it
takes a lot of self-reflection, but once you start heading in the right
direction, because you have “superpowers” like hyper-focus, ideas
flowing out and through your brain like a flooding river, and energy
(because your brain doesn’t turn off), you will flourish.
You need: knowledge, knowledge, knowledge.
What do you need?
KNOWLEDGE!
You
need to learn about ADHD, figure out how it impacts your life, then
learn different ways you can adjust to utilize its power instead of
giving the power away.
I
use the natural approach to controlling my ADHD: exercise, healthy
eating, A HIGHLY STRUCTURED DAY, a stimulating environment, multiple
projects, etc.
If
you had told me 10 years ago I needed structure I would have laughed my
ass off. I didn’t know I had ADHD at the time (even thought it was
obvious. I mean, I sat by myself in the corner all through elementary
school because I wouldn’t/couldn’t shut up). Since I started learning
about it, and setting myself up to control it, I realize the more
structure the better. I get up the same time every day, have relatively
the same routine every morning, have a room in my house that I create
in, and I am constantly finding more and more ways to be more structured
and be able to produce more content. I have 10 projects going on at all
times with 10 more waiting to be fit in to my schedule. All I do is
work and hang out with family. If someone needs me to do something other
than my projects or family time (like unnecessary meetings, which 99%
of them are) it feels like someone is ripping my scalp off. I am the
most boring person I know, but I love it and I couldn’t care less. I
have never been happier because I am 100% me. I am not trying to fit in,
I’m not on anyone else’s path, their agenda, nothing. All me.
I would start your journey with three books, and two articles:
Books:
Articles:
I
am excited for you. I am excited for what you are going to do now that
you know you are in control. ADHD is awesome. I am glad not everyone has
it because then my abilities wouldn’t be special, and they are special.
ADHD
and greatness are all around us: Tim Ferriss, Casey Neistat, Gary
Vaynerchuk, all the entreprenuers, all the innovators. Whether they know
it or not, they have ADHD and they are absolutely destroying it. You
can to. You have that “superpower.”
Even more prevalent is the ADHD and shit storm relationship. You either control it, or it will control you. It is that powerful.
It’s fire.
It’s water.
It’s wind.
You can either control burn, create hydroelectric or wind power, or you can get burned, drown, and blown away. It’s your choice.
Joey
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