Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts

Monday, October 24, 2016

Why I Fast


Today I am starting my fourth 5-day water fast of 2016.

Once a quarter for the year.

The main reason I do it is for health, but there are many others.

Health Benefits

It helps regenerate the immune system, promotes longevity by reducing degenerative conditions, allows the body to thoroughly “clean” its cells, and it is a cancer fighter.

Cancer fighter?

Yup.

I hate to say it, but we all have cancer cells in us, slowly growing from year to year, waiting for the right conditions to potentially ruin our lives.

The good news is, just like everything else, cancer needs a fuel source to survive in our bodies.

Fasting restricts a major fuel source for cancer, sugar. Without that fuel source, those cancerous cells, and all of the tiny tumors in our body, shrivel up and die.

Sounds like a great preventative measure to me!

Hungry for a few days to help prevent cancer later in life?

Sold!

Cancer is a mother f***er.

In case you are wondering, I understand that I still may get it, but at least I will know I did everything to prevent it. There is peace of mind in leaving it all out on the field.

I don’t understand the mentality of people that say, “well, I’m gonna die from something!” and then proceed to treat their body like dog poop. Makes no sense to me. Life is difficult, aging is going to be hard for everyone. Why wouldn’t you give yourself the best opportunity to thrive? Be very wary of people that don’t care enough to try. You only get one life. This is not a dress rehearsal. Act accordingly.

Other Benefits

1. Time

So much glorious time!

I don’t work out during fasting weeks. I do a lot of stretching, foam rolling, and dog walking (my dog loves fasting weeks). I don’t get the boost of energy I hear some people getting after the first three days. I feel weak, I feel light-headed when I stand up, so I don’t want to push it. If I did anything, it would be light weights, minor calisthenics, but not much more.

Working out time:

4 runs.

60ish minutes per.
20 minutes of total drive time per.
20 minutes of dressing, undressing, showers, etc. per.
 = 6.75 hours

5 lifting sessions

80ish minutes per.
20 minutes of dressing, undressing, showers, etc. per.
15 minutes of smoothie making/eating per.
= ~ 9 hours

Food Prep + eating time:

~ 20 minutes of prep/eating for breakfast + lunch.
(I still need to make dinner for my wife and daughter, so that doesn’t count).
+ the time it takes to get back in to whatever project I was working on after I have been up making food and eating. I will say at least 15 minutes per meal, not including snacks, = 45 min per day.
= ~ 7 hours

Total Time Saved: ~22.75 hours in 5 days!!

That is 2 full work days saved in just 5 days.

Think about the productivity!

I can get so much done, it’s unbelievable.

Granted, there is a little brain fog later on in the week, but I have an enormous amount of time to work!

I can get so much done!!!

2. Mental strength

How many of us let our stomachs lead us throughout the day? I’m hungry, my blood sugar is low, I need nourishment, blah blah blah. Once you realize you don’t need to listen to your stomach you can take even more control of your day. You can skip lunch and power through because you have tested yourself already. You are a trooper. You don’t really need it, you have just conditioned yourself to think you need it.

It also shows you that you eat when you aren’t hungry at all (which is where most of us pick up the extra pounds). This helps you distinguish between real hunger and eating when you are supposed to (12 for lunch, 6 for dinner, etc) or eating because you are bored.

3. Religious strength

Fasting is a major component in all of the major religions. In fact, I thought fasting was only for religious reasons when I was younger. It sounded crazy to me. As I got older and learned all of the health benefits, it made me appreciate the religious factors even more. Rejuvenating the body? Building the immune system? Reducing cancer risks? And slowing the degenerative aging process? It’s incredible. Scriptures were written thousands of years ago, before modern science, before labs, before anything we would call credible by today’s standards, and here is this gem at the heart of many scriptures, fasting. I think it’s amazing, but that may just be me (which I am okay with).

Living Blog (10/24/16–10/28/16)

I will be editing this blog throughout the week, updating how I am feeling, what is difficult, what is easy, etc.

Please follow along this journey of mine, and ask any questions you like.

Have a great week.

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40 Hour Check-In

Didn’t start getting hungry until about 10:30am on day 1. I do intermittent fasting periodically, so it is no big deal up to this point. In fact, I don’t expect it to be much of a deal at all. I have done this before, many times for 24 hours, so I am used to it.

One thing that I always forget about fasting is being cold. Because your body is not working hard on digesting food, or recovering from workouts, it is colder than I am used to. What is funny is, my wife is always the cold one and I am always looking at her like she is crazy because I am hot and she is sitting there with a blanket. Last night, our roles were reversed.

The first issue I had was dinner. I do all the cooking so I am looking at this beautiful stovetop of freshly made raviolis and homemade tomato sauce, it smells amazing, I know it tastes amazing because of the looks on my wife and daughter’s faces. Ugh. I am hungry.

Still sleeping well. I expect it to get worse the longer I am fasting. This should be my hardest day. Between 48–72 hours, when your body is most likely transitioning in to ketosis is the hardest. 
Headaches, body aches, still hungry, feeling a little weak, etc. By the time I hit the 72 hours mark (noon on Wednesday 10/26) I should be good. Then I will have 48 hours of solid ketosis to go in and reset my system, shrink cancer cells, and detox my body.

There is one little hack I started doing this fast that I have not done the others. Granted, it is putting something in to my system other than water, but it is nothing too significant. On the first and second morning I drink a glass of water (duh) with baking soda and lime juice. In my mind, part of detoxing is getting all of the “crap” (pun intended) out of my system so it can heal. Well if I am not eating, then what is going to move all the waste out of my system, especially by day 2? The baking soda and lime help pull water in to the upper intestines where food may still be waiting to pass, activates that region, then helps flush it out (in to the toilet in case that was not clear). It is a little cheat, but I think it will help in the long run. Just wanted to be clear about everything I am doing so you may have a reference for your potential fast.

67 Hour Check-In

Sleep last night was rough.

I feel weak and mentally out of it.

Drinking a ton of water during the day seems to help, but you can’t do that at night. I had to curtail my water intake a few hours before I went to bed to make sure I didn’t pee all over myself or have to get up 20 times during the night.

Not good sleep.

I can feel my heart beat all night, which is not very comforting. I took my HRV (heart rate variability) yesterday morning. It was low (6) and my resting heart rate was about 10 beats faster than normal. 

When I got up this morning both were back to normal, which was comforting.

Honesty, I almost got up and ended the fast last night multiple times. If I feel the same way tonight that I did last night I will call it quits. It doesn’t feel right, and I don’t want to take any chances.
I have done this before and felt better, I am not sure what the difference would be this time.
If I do bow out, I think it is important for you all to understand how vitally important it is to come off of a fast slowly. I mean really slow. This is something that I have not done well the last three times. Once I start eating, everything tastes so fricken good, I eat WAY more than I should. Keep in mind, I get full very easily because my system has been shut down for almost a week, so I am not eating a ton of food, but definitely more than I should.

This time I will be coming off of it with a cup of bone broth, some juice, and then easily digestible fruits and carbs. A little white rice, or some pasta. Things that are higher in carbs but easy on the digestive system.

Remember, you entire digestive system has been turned off, meaning it can’t process anything initially. You need to warm the engine back up. Whatever you shove in your face at the end of this will just sit in your gut. Be cognizant of that.

Another check in at 90ish hours.

Update

I failed.

I had to pull the chord at about 73 hours.

I was having palpitations and tried to offset it with some calcium, Vit D3, and magnesium, but it didn’t feel much better.

Not sure what happened. I have done this before and this may have been my worst experience.
In spite of my frustration, I do feel very good. I just wish I had gotten to remain in ketosis for the 48 hours I was planning on. There are many benefits to a 72 hours fast, but I was really looking for the full 120.

I may mix it up a little next time, start the supplements earlier, maybe add some exogenous ketones in the beginning the ease the transition.

I also may need to come to the reality that my palpitations and arrhythmia will limit my fasting the same way it limits my running. I have done the full scope of tests with a cardiologist, knowing that I will need an ablation, but without being able to catch the arrhythmia on a monitor, and not having anything visibly wrong with my heart in other tests, I just have to deal with it.

If you are a practitioner of fasting and have any suggestions I would love to hear them. Please don’t hesitate in contacting me. The more feedback and insight the better.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Be healthy!

Monday, April 11, 2016

My Worst Day In Prison


Spoiler Alert!!

There is no spoiler alert.

This story isn’t in my book.

If you have read Prison Diary(a): A San Quentin Comedy, Kinda, (please write a review) you know I had some REALLY bad days. REEEAAALLLLY bad. (If you haven’t read it, what are you waiting for? Paperback. Kindle Version) All the fights, murders, threats, screaming, stripping down, and booty hole checking were better than my worst day in prison. That is saying a whole lot by the way (for those who have read the book, you know exactly what I mean).

The Day

Four months after I left San Quentin I was at the beautiful CTF in Soledad, CA. Actually, CTF was not beautiful at all, but the valley was. Soledad is a gorgeous place, but it was very central valley of them to put a prison there. Short-sighted to say the least. It could have been another Napa, or Santa Ynez Valley. It’s that beautiful and they have the second best soil for growing grapes in THE WORLD, but prisons are easy money, and the central valley is all about easy prison money. It was actually “nice” walking back from chow in the mornings on my “weekend” and looking up at the mountains that separated Salinas Valley and Carmel. I was very blessed to be there instead of some place outside of Fresno or Bakersfield, the crown jewels of the California prison system.

It was towards the end of July and I hadn’t talked to my wife or parents in over a week. The phones were down for repair. This was confusing to everyone because we used payphones. I am pretty sure on a scale of 1-10 the level of technology needed for these phones was somewhere around a zero, so I am not sure what needed to be fixed or what took them so long, but who am I going to complain to? Someone who doesn’t give a shit? Exactly.

The phones were finally up that Sunday night. We were finally able to line up and get our loved ones on the phone, connect to the outside world, the real world. Night yard was only an hour, so my time was extremely limited. I got though the line, made it up to the phone, dialed through the operator, beep boop beeped my wife’s number, and I can hear it in her voice as soon as she answers. Something is very wrong.

“Babe, I know there is not much time and I need to tell you something……”

Ok  

“It’s your mom. She’s sick.”

Sick how?

“They found tumors all over her body. It’s in her pelvis, her lungs, her shoulder, and a little spot on her skull.”

*silence

*gut punch

*searching for breath

“Babe? Are you ok?”

*holding back tears, barely.

*Eyes watering,

*lump building rapidly in my throat

Is it, is it, going to be ok? How bad is it? *voice quivering

“They don’t know yet. She has tests this week.”

Fuck.

Ok.

Shit.

Fuck.

*loudspeaker “Yard recall. Yard recall.”

Babe, I gotta go.

“I know. I heard. Are you okay?”

Yeah. I will call you if I can tomorrow.

Please tell my mom I love her.

“I will. I love you. It will be ok.”

I love you too sweet baby. Goodnight.

*click

In a fog I walked across the yard. Everyone streamlining in to the buildings. Program over for the day. I was in a bubble. Eyes down, thoughts lost, body collapsing from the inside out. In to my cell block. Loud, bright, inmates everywhere. Half naked ones that took a shower, blues and beanie caps for the ones that were out on the yard. Bro hugs for friends, kissing for those in relationships. Cleaning up the tattoo guns, wiping the blood from their brand new work, tucking everything away before the guards comedown to lock you up for the night. You better be by your door or you are going to have a long night.

Walking in a fog through the block.

Walking in a fog up the stairs.

Silence.

I can’t speak.

My brain is spinning so bad I can’t even send the signal to my mouth to move.

I am gone.

I am lost. 

Mom.

Fuck, mom.

I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have such a fucking loser as a son. You are wonderful, I am just a piece of shit.

I am so sorry mama.

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I broke down completely. Between tossing and turning, wiping my tears and blowing my nose, time nearly came to a standstill as I waited to talk to my mom or dad or anyone on the phone the next day.

Tumors?

Cancer?

Her hip? Lungs? Shoulder? A spot on her head?

That’s everywhere!

That is her whole fucking body!

My mother has cancer all over her entire body. She is going to die. I have never heard of anyone with cancer all over their body that survived.

My mom? Dead? Fuck.

Lungs?

Head?

Shit.

My family is dealing with cancer out there and I am in here for the next 2 months.

Will she make it 2 months? Will I ever see her again?

How bad is it?

Could she survive this?

What the hell kind of cancer spreads all over your body like that? How is she going to survive? She’s so young.

She has had to deal with her idiot son for 3 years. His embarrassment, his bullshit, his trial, his prison time, and now this.

FUCK ME!!!

FUCK!!!

There is nothing I can do. The one thing I could do, which is be there, is impossible because I am such a piece of shit. I am in fucking prison. Now my mom is going through cancer, my dad is going through my mom’s cancer, my sister is going through my mom’s cancer, and her piece of shit son is in Soledad like a fucking loser. Not like a fucking loser…. A. Fucking. Loser.

FUCK!!!

FUUUUCK!!!!

I hate myself. I could rip my face off right now. I could smash my head in to the wall. I deserve it. Crush my own skull by bashing my head against the concrete over and over again. Let my brains ooze out of my eye sockets. Blood gush out of my ears. Beaten until I wasn’t recognizable anymore. I would be on the outside what I feel on the inside, a disaster. A piece of shit disaster. Mangled. Destroyed.

Staring at a concrete ceiling, in a concrete room, in a concrete building, surrounded by multiple fences and barbed wire, guards with guns ready to shoot without warning, and me. And my thoughts. My poor mother. Fuck. The hell I have put her through. My poor parents. My poor family. I wish they had been abusive. Been shitty parents. I wish I had a shitty wife, shitty kids, but I don’t. Everyone is perfect, and I am fucked. It’s all me. I am sitting here, crying my eyes out, my stomach turning over, stab wounds ripping through my abdomen, a vice around my head, tightening slowly, and it is ALL ON ME. I couldn’t make an excuse if I tried. I couldn’t blame anyone but me. It is all me. I am a sack of shit. FUCK myself.

FUCK ME!


Longest night of my life. I couldn’t wait until yard the next morning. Hopefully the phones work. Hopefully they answer when I call. Will they know more information? Is my imagination making this worse than it is? Is it worse than I think it is? Could all the stress from the last few years have caused this? All the spikes in cortisol and stress hormones feeding the cancer cells that have exploded all over her body? This is my fault too. Shit. All my bullshit is going to kill my mom. I want to die. Fuck. I hate myself.

All I can do is wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And……

Wait.       

The Following Days

I was able to talk to my parents regularly over the next few weeks. They slowly got more information, and the prognosis was good. It was a very treatable type of Lymphoma. It was everywhere, but it hadn’t invaded the tissue of her lungs, her brain, or her spinal column. She was starting chemo in a few weeks, and with the gaps in-between treatments, I would be out in time for her second appointment.

Exhale.

All the treatments worked. I was able to go with her to some of the appointments (including the one on New Year’s Eve clearing her of all cancer cells). Me and my bald mamma. I could finally be there for her. She could finally stop worrying about me, and give her body a chance to heal. She got that time, and it did heal, miraculously. The doctor told us after that he had never seen someone recover so quickly from such a devastating amount of cancer. He showed us her initial CAT-Scan and it was even worse than I had imagined. It was literally EVERYWHERE. Now it was nowhere. Absolutely amazing.

Days like the one I had back in July of 2014 are brutal. Worse than getting arrested, worse than having my face plastered all over the news for two weeks (that was pretty bad too), worse than getting sentenced in front of a courtroom full of friends and family. (And when I say full, I mean overflowing with supporters.) And worse than my first days in San Quentin (which you can read about in detail in paperback here, and on Kindle here. Remember to rate it when you’re done! Thank you!).

I pray that my stories will hit you in a place that allows you to evaluate where you are. You do not want to be in a position where you are separated from your family in their time of need. You need to be there. Stop all the BS and get your shit straight. Man up (or woman up) and clean your closet. You deserve it and they deserve it. It’s all about choices, it’s all about where you want to be and where you allow yourself to go. Make the right decision. It’s all on you.

Joey

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